The Zarbon and Ginyu Force Saga
by Karatelover
Summary: Zarbon in these collection of stories meets the Ginyu Force and has many hilarious and sometimes dramatic adventures with them along with his friends and enemies, which shows that he and the Ginyu Force had potential.
1. Chapter 1

_In a Nutshell_

In the court room, Freezer was sitting his lazy butt on his thrown, drinking a lot of wine, since he was so small, he got drunk so easily, it was a way for him to escape all the hardships and failed missions.

"Zarbon get the hell in here!" yelled Freezer who then belched really loudly.

Zarbon ran into the room, he was out of breath, how could you blame him? He was exercising with Apple and Kiwi, his two best friends in the universe and his babysitters when he was just a young boy.  
"Freezer what's wrong?" asked Zarbon catching his breath.

"Tell me something Zarbon, does everyone love me?" asked Freezer belching even louder, heck if Zarbon would have done such a thing, he would be punished.

"Well to be honest with you, first of all some of your men hate you, no woman wants to sleep with you, Cooler and his men despise you, the people of this planet disagree with you, and I myself and some other people hate you!" Zarbon said tactlessly, if any time were better for him to be honest with Freezer, now was the time.

Freezer got excited, after all for him it was a good thing for people to be afraid of him, it was the only thing that kept him and his family in power, "They love me!" he yelled excited.

Zarbon looked confused, "Yah something like that! Everyone thinks you're an arrogant, selfish, snobby brat! I think so too!" Zarbon then covered his mouth, perhaps he overdone it.

Freezer got mad, "Oh do they?"

"Yes they do!" yelled Zarbon again, he was only nineteen years old, so he was at that age where people went to college and tried to figure out who they were going to be when they got older, Zarbon's fate was already sealed. He was a little rebellious, he did not want to be general for the rest of his life, and he was a teenager for Christ sakes!

Freezer got even more pissed off, he had something up his sleeve even before he got drunk, now was the perfect time to tell Zarbon, "That does it! Zarbon you're being too honest with me! Just for that, I'm forcing you to go to the Ginyu Force Campus to take lessons of being a proper solder! " Freezer said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "You don't mean from the infamous…."

"Yes Captain Ginyu himself!" Freezer said.

"Wow I heard many rumors that he's a fearsome wacko! I heard a rumor that he made someone stand on their head until they barfed!" Zarbon said.

Freezer smiled, "Yes it's true that he's ruthless and stubborn and has some interesting techniques I'll tell you that much." Freezer chuckled.

"Please don't send me there! I'm too young to die!" yelled Zarbon getting on his hands and knees.

"You haven't met him have you?" asked Freezer.

"No I haven't but I want to go to college, it's a wiser and more proper decision!" Zarbon said.

"You're going and that's final!" yelled Freezer breaking his wine bottle against the thrown and pointing the sharp broken edges at Zarbon.

"Man I hate you!" yelled Zarbon.

"You're grounded!" yelled Freezer.

"You're not my real father!" yelled Zarbon. He was so pissed off that he ran through the metal sliding doors, smashing it to bits.

Freezer was now cheesed more than ever, "Zarbon!" he yelled.

A few days later, Zarbon was outside in the field with some other young men and two women, he stuck out like a sore thumb, literally he was the only primal changeling there, everyone else were regular changelings like Freezer. He wore some back metal Sayain armor, not his original style. He wasn't dressed very stylish as usual, instead he only wore hoop earring.

"I hate this." Zarbon said.

A young man named Karl was looking at a magazine with Zarbon on the front cover, he then saw Zarbon, looked at the front cover again and looked at Zarbon again. He realized that Zarbon was the one on the cover, so he sneaked up behind him. "Hey don't you model?" asked Karl curiously.

"How did you know?" asked Zarbon.

"I've seen you on magazine covers." Karl said.

Zarbon sarcastically smiled, "Oh good, congratulations, now you're seen me in person. I used to model, but I'm not allowed to anymore, Freezer said so." Zarbon said.

"Can I have your autograph?" asked Karl.

"Later, so what's your excuse for being here?" asked Zarbon.

"Well I joined on purpose, my name is Karl and I all ready know your name!" Karl said.

Zarbon smiled sadly, "Yes unfortunately my name is Zarbon Mustashi, nice to meet you." He shook hands with Karl. "I could have gone to a good college, but no Freezer made me come here!" Zarbon said all mad.

All the sudden a big, tall purple man with horns sticking out of his head jumped in front of everyone, it was the one and only Captain Ginyu! "Hello everyone!" he yelled.

Zarbon got scared, "Help hide me!" he then hid behind Karl.

Karl smiled, "Relax he's nice, he won't hurt you!" Karl said.

Zarbon then gasped, "But what about the kids that have to stand on their heads until they throw up?" he asked.

Karl then laughed, "That's only the bad kids that misbehave!" Karl said.

Captain Ginyu then got even more excited, "Ok class I'm ready are you?" he asked doing a few back flips in front of the whole class.

"I'm out of here," thought Zarbon who tried to sneak away.

Captain Ginyu caught sight of Zarbon trying to get away, "It looks like we have a new student, say hello to Zarbon Mustashi!" yelled Captain Ginyu.

"Hi everyone, wow he's really enthusiastic isn't he?" asked Zarbon faking a smile.

"Ok now we're going to do the Ginyu Pose!" yelled Captain Ginyu. He then bent down and stuck his leg out. "Ginyu, we are the Ginyu Force!" he yelled.

Zarbon turned very purple he had never been so embarrassed in all of his life. "Now everyone do your own pose!" Captain Ginyu said.

Zarbon decided it was time to leave so he raised his hand, "Excuse me sir I just remembered my wife's having a baby, I need to go to the hospital, see you tomorrow!" Zarbon then ran off faster than you can say quicksilver.

"He's not married is he?" Captain Ginyu asked.

"I don't think so." Karl said.

It was as if Zarbon set off a chain reaction because the next thing you know Lobster raised his hand, "I need to go to the bathroom be right back!" he then ran away.

"Yah me too!" yelled Simone and ran off.

"I just remembered I have a dentist appointment, can't be late!" Sarah then ran off.

"Oh I have a job interview to go to, sorry can't stay!" Martin ran off.

"Oh I just remembered I have to go to a cousin's birthday party!" Fork then ran off fast.

Captain Ginyu was puzzled because nobody had ever done such a thing while he was teaching class, he looked at Karl, "So you're the only one here other than me?" he asked.

"It would seem that way sir." Karl said.

Meanwhile behind the big university building Zarbon and everyone else were cracking up, "God Zarbon that was the best excuse ever, I haven't heard one that good in years!" Lobster said laughing and gave Zarbon a high five.

"Yah that was cool!" Martin said.

"Thanks, so you all want to go eat somewhere?" asked Zarbon.

"Sure!" Simone said.

Later on outside the palace, Zarbon drove his black corvette, parked it, and walked up to the palace. Freezer was waiting outside thumping his foot on the ground; his tail was thumping as well. He held a half folded piece of paper in his hand. "Oh Zarbon may I see you in my office alone?" asked Freezer.

"Which one?" asked Zarbon smirking.

"Don't be a smart-ass!" Freezer said.

In Freezer's office Zarbon was sitting down at the desk in a chair while Freezer was walking back and forth, "Yes you wanted to see me?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes, I got a note from Captain Ginyu saying some students made up excuses to leave the field; I believe you were one of them!" Freezer then pounded his fists on the table.

Zarbon jumped, "I don't know what you mean!" he said.

"Then you'll believe me when I tell you what your excuse was to refresh your memory! You told him that your wife was in labor!" Freezer said.

"Well I could have." Zarbon said cracking a smile.

"You don't have a wife do you?" asked Freezer.

"No sir I don't." Zarbon said.

"So did you not just make up some lame excuse that wasn't even true just to get out of his class?" asked Freezer enraged.

"Yes sir I did, I'm sorry but was going to make us do that stupid, retarded Ginyu Pose! I had to save myself from embarrassment!" Zarbon said.

"Tomorrow you will go up to Captain Ginyu and apologize do I make myself clear?" asked Freezer.

"Yes sir and I'll tell him the truth." Zarbon said getting up about to leave.

"Oh Zarbon I have something else I want to talk about, sit down." Freezer said.

"Yes what?" asked Zarbon sitting back down.

"I don't blame you for being angry at me, I'm terribly sorry. It seems like you're the only one who's honest with me in the first place. I appreciate it." Freezer then started kissing Zarbon's neck.

"Sir what have I told you in the past about sexually abusing me?" asked Zarbon.

"You know something you look just like your mother, beautiful, nice but stubborn and honest." Freezer said.

"But my mum had long black hair and brown skin." Zarbon said.

"I sure was right, you grown more beautiful every day." Freezer said.

"Yah well I'm not my mother, and let me tell you something else! You have no right to touch me like that!" Zarbon then got up and walked out of Freezer's office.

The next day Zarbon walked up to Captain Ginyu, "Sir I want to apologize for making up some lame excuses yesterday, I'm not really married I'm sorry." Zarbon said looking down at the ground.

"It's okay," Captain Ginyu said.

Zarbon then thought, "Gosh he sure is forgiving," then he said aloud, "Well Freezer made me do it, and can I ask you something else?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes what?" asked Captain Ginyu.

"You see Freezer was scolding me yesterday and he did some weird things too." Zarbon said.

"What kind of weird things?" asked Captain Ginyu.

"He kissed my neck like I was his lover or something, then I had a nightmare last night and I just can't repeat what happened." Zarbon said.

"Tell me this dream that you had?" asked Captain Ginyu.

"Well I was naked, in chains and Freezer came out and started raping me, then I woke up and it was just so awful!" Zarbon said.

Captain Ginyu looked like he was about to shit his own pants, "First of all he shouldn't be telling you stuff like that and touching or trying to make out with your neck! I don't get the dream though."

"That's nothing, I once had a dream that a planet was in chains, and Freezer was above it and it exploded. I also had a vision that Freezer and Cooler were fighting over the universe." Zarbon said.

"Are you some kind of psychic?" asked Captain Ginyu.

"Sort of, I'm actually a sorcerer I conjure demons up so some weaklings who work for Freezer can fight them." Zarbon said.

"So how did Freezer kiss you?" asked Captain Ginyu.

"Like this," Zarbon then started kissing him passionately on the neck.

"Ok, ok I get the point stop it!" Captain Ginyu said.

"That's not the only thing Freezer did to me, I lost my virginity to him when I was a little boy, and he forced sexual intercourse on me." Zarbon said.

"How long has he been doing this to you?" asked Captain Ginyu.

"Since I was five," Zarbon said.

"Why that son of a bitch, we'll talk more about this after class! This has been a very interesting conversation, ok class listen up! We're stating on the poses again!" Captain Ginyu said.

Martian raised his hand, "Can I go to the bathroom?" he asked.

"No potty breaks! I'm not falling for that one again! Zarbon who was the ringleader here will go first!" Captain Ginyu said.

"Ok!" Zarbon said. He did a back summer salt and landed in style, "Zarbon! We are the Ginyu Force!" he said.

Martin then said, "Say if he could do it then we can do it!" he then did a spilt jump and landed on his penis hurting it, "We are the Ginyu Force!" he said in pain.

"You were supposed to say your name!" Captain Ginyu said.

One by one, the students all did their Ginyu poses and said their names and all that, then it got to Karl who did a triple summer salt in the air, and landed in style, "Karl! We are the Ginyu Force!" he yelled.

All the students booed at him and threw their lunches at him show off, "Now he's trying too just like the rest of you, so be nice!" Zarbon said.

The rest of the class continued doing their thing with the Ginyu Poses and then Captain Ginyu said, "Excellent, ok class is over you may all go home!" he said.

All the students went home except for Zarbon, "You wanted to see me?" he asked.

"Yes Zarbon, I must admit that you got the class to open up, they wouldn't do it until you came along." He said.

"Well I do my best sir!" Zarbon said.

"I'll make you a deal kid, since I like you so much, I'm going to go to Freezer myself and teach him a lesson!" Captain Ginyu said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "No that would be a big mistake!" he said.

"Relax I'm just going to rough him up a little bit, let's go!" Captain Ginyu said and Zarbon reluctantly followed him.

Freezer was in his office, all the sudden Zarbon came in, "Hello Freezer!" Zarbon said.

Freezer jumped, "Zarbon I have no called upon you!" he said.

"Oh I know, a friend of mine just thought that you needed to be taught a lesson." Zarbon said.

"Friend, you don't have any friends." Freezer said.

All the sudden Captain Ginyu did a forward summer salt into the room and did the Ginyu Pose, "Ginyu! I'm the Ginyu Force!" he said.

"What is he doing here?" asked Freezer frowning.

"I haven't a clue sir." Zarbon said blushing.

All the sudden Captain Ginyu picked Freezer up and punched him in the face, "Zarbon here tells me that you have been touching him sexually! It is true, is it true?" he asked.

"God damn you Ginyu, how dare you strike me!" Freezer said.

"You may be the emperor of the universe or whatever you are, but you have no wisdom! Zarbon is too weak to kick your ass; it looks like I'll have to do it for him!" Captain Ginyu then threw Freezer across the room. "You should be ashamed of yourself, come on Zarbon we'll report this to Cooler and King Cold!" Captain Ginyu said as he walked out of the room.

"Sir, that's not such a good idea!" Zarbon said following him.

They walked into the throne room where Freezer's father King Cold and his older attractive brother Cooler were sitting on their thrones. Cooler immediately stood up, "Stop, what is the meaning of this?" he asked.

"Your brother has been sexually abusing Zarbon since he was five!" yelled Captain Ginyu.

"Well that's nothing new." Cooler said.

"What?" asked Captain Ginyu.

"Yes Freezer himself told me, I have been telling him to knock it off but he won't do it." Cooler said.

All the sudden Freezer ran into the room, "Captain Ginyu I'm about to kill you in minuet!" Freezer said with his eyes glowing as they were about to shoot lasers out of them.

All the sudden Zarbon got in the way, "No Freezer! You need Captain Ginyu, I know he's a goofball and he is a bit strange, but he's caring and fun to be around! You need him as a teacher for your low-level solders! I can't think of a better person then him!" Zarbon said.

Freezer's eyes then stopped glowing, "Good point, but it's none of his business that I had sex with you!" Freezer said.

"Ew that's gross, aren't you like his adopted dad or something?" asked Ginyu.

"Captain go home I need to have a talk with Zarbon," Freezer said.

"Yes sir right away," Ginyu almost left, but then took Zarbon aside and whispered to him, "Thanks for saving my skin." He then left.

Freezer walked up to Zarbon and slapped him in the face, "You whore why did you tell him! You know that anyone that lives outside the palace is never to know about our sexual encounters!" Freezer said.

"But what you did to me when I was a child was wrong, I know it, Cooler knows it, even my ex baby-sitters knew it!" Zarbon said.

"He's right you know, I mean having sex with children is really disgusting and so un ruler like." Cooler said.

"You stay out of this Cooler! As further punishment you have to spend a month at the Ginyu Force Campus, since you sicken me so much you have to pack what you need and spend the night in Captain Ginyu's room!" Freezer said.

"Oh I don't want to sleep in his room!" Zarbon said covering his eyes up.

"You should have thought about it before he came into the office and slapped me around, get out of here I don't want to see you for over a month!" Freezer said kicking Zarbon in the leg.

"Yes sir right away!" Zarbon then ran out of the room.

The next day Zarbon packed what he needed and went to stay with Captain Ginyu for over a month, Captain Ginyu graciously welcomed him into his home, and he did not hurt him or do anything the Freezer did to him when he was a child.

The day after that, as the low level trainees were doing their poses, Zarbon was sitting down with Captain Ginyu and watching them, Zarbon was now officially the assistant coach.

Zarbon put his sunglasses on and sipped some tropical Martini, after all the side of Planet Freezer he lived on was a tropical climate, and it was a very hot day, "Ah this is paradise, I don't have to take over planets for that power hungry Freezer!" Zarbon said.

Captain Ginyu had his sunglasses on too, "Yah tell me about it." He said.

Two girls walked up to them, "Oh Zarbon, if I was in your position I would kiss you." A hot primal changeling named Sarah said.

"Now Sarah that's up to Captain Ginyu," Zarbon said.

Captain Ginyu spited on a pina colada, "Do whatever you want! You're the assistant coach!" he said.

"Well feel free to express your feelings!" Zarbon said.

"Oh Zarbon!" she then started kissing him wildly.

"Well I'll say that was nice." Zarbon said.

"Oh me next, me next," Simone said.

"Kiss Captain Ginyu first, and I'll give you the wildest kiss you ever laid your lips on!" Zarbon said smirking.

"Ok!" Simone then started making out with Captain Ginyu and then stopped, Ginyu was surprised, "Wow how did you do that Zarbon?" he asked.

"Easy, I can make a girl do anything for me! Come on kiss me fool!" Zarbon said to Simone.

"Ok that sounds great!" she then killed Zarbon on the lips.

Zarbon and Ginyu had in lipstick markings all over their faces, "Ah nothing gets better than this!" Zarbon said.

End of story


	2. Chapter 2

_Meet the Ginyu Force, Part 1_

Zarbon was in his room looking in the mirror and brushing his hair and then Kiwi came into the room, "Zarbon guess what?" asked Kiwi.

"What's the matter, did Dodoria break his bed again?" Zarbon then laughed.

"Even worst, the Ginyu Force is coming!" Kiwi said.

"They're not so bad; I work with Captain Ginyu for a part-time job so that I could help the kids stretch out a bit." Zarbon said.

"Well he's got the best kids to be considered on the Ginyu Force!" Kiwi said.

"So how old are they, they are different ages you know." Zarbon said.

"Like I think they're about the same age as Vegeta, thirteen or fourteen?" Kiwi said.

"I don't know I asked you." Zarbon said.

"So who are they?" asked Zarbon.

"I've never seen them before; nobody has except for Captain Ginyu." Kiwi said.

"Let's go see them." Zarbon said walking out of the room and heading straight to the throne room, he saw Liya, Freezer and Apple there. Captain Ginyu was standing there in front of Freezer and there were five kids sitting behind him on the floor.

"So who did you pick to become the fearsome Ginyu Force?" Freezer asked snickering, as if he could really take a goofball like Captain Ginyu seriously.

"Everyone start introducing yourselves!" Ginyu said.

All the sudden a little red fellow that looked to be about fourteen did the splits to the point where he surprised Freezer and caught him off guard, "Jeice!" he yelled in a British sounding accent.

Then a green girl, with glasses and her blond hair in pigtails did a back flip and stood in a pose just like the fellow before her, "Tina!" she yelled in a British sounding voice.

Then a little green guy with four eyes did a pose and did not even bother to do a flip or anything, "Guldo!" he yelled.

Then a blue kid that was tall for his age, about fourteen at least did a pose, "Burter!" he yelled.

Then a retarded looking human like creature just stood there not knowing what to do, "Duh Recoome!" he then smiled.

"We are the Ginyu Force!" They all yelled.

"Wow what an introduction." Liya said nervously.

All the sudden the little red kid ran up to Liya and kissed her hand, "Hey babe do you want to marry me?" he asked.

Liya blushed, "Uh no I'm too busy for a husband." She then snickered nervously.

"Hello what's your name?" Jeice asked Zarbon.

Then Zarbon looked down at the young teenager, "My name is Zarbon, what's your name?" he asked.

"Jeice, my old man wants me to be a warrior, but I want to be a rock star!" he yelled.

"So what do you think about meeting Freezer Jeice?" Zarbon asked.

"It's so cool, only a few of the people attending the Ginyu Force academy get to meet him in person!" Jeice said.

"I think it's so dumb that I don't get to wear skirts, I hate this armor, my butt is itching Captain Ginyu!" Tina said trying to scratch her butt under her armor.

Liya and Zarbon's eyes widened, they were raised in a more dignified manner, mentioning farting, belching, or picking ones nose was forbidden by them; needless to say that itching ones own butt or crouch in public was on the top of the no-no list.

"Who taught you to talk like that young lady?" asked Liya furiously.

"Leave her alone Liya, she probably isn't accustomed to our lifestyle so it's no use mentioning manners to these elite members." Zarbon said.

"It's not so bad, now that I just passed gas!" Kiwi said laughing.

"Kiwi that is disgusting!" Liya said.

"I was joking, no wait I did it for real this time!" Kiwi said laughing again.

"Remind me to hit you later won't you?" asked Liya rolling her eyes.

"So tell them the surprise Freezer, tell them the surprise!" Captain Ginyu said clapping his hands like a moron.

"Oh yes you all won a chance to spend an entire week in my palace, and job shadow Zarbon, Kiwi, Liya and Apple!" Freezer said.

Just then the four friends all looked at one another, this was going to be a bunch to keep an eye on, Zarbon then thought, "I love kids, this won't be too hard."

Later on in the cafeteria, Zarbon, Liya, Kiwi, and Apple were smoking cigarettes, after all it was so stressful working for Freezer, "God those kids are so lame." Liya said.

"Come on they're kids, don't you remember when we used to go around the palace making farting noises and causing all sorts of trouble for Freezer?" asked Zarbon lighting a cigarette.

"Yes don't remind me ok? I don't like kids very much; the only one I did like was my daughter and my ballet students." Liya said smoking.

"So are those girls learning, and if so can I sneak into the locker room and get a tape of them naked?" asked Kiwi laughing. Liya had a stern look on her face and stepped on Kiwi's foot, "Damn Liya you are such a bitch!" he said.

"So my students tell me." She said continuing to smoke.

"I can't wait to show the kids what I like to do in my spare time!" Apple said.

"I can't see anything possibly going wrong." Zarbon said drinking some green tea.

That night, Zarbon was asleep in bed and all the sudden there was a knock on the door, "Just a minute!" he yelled and he went to the door and opened it up, it was the fourteen year old red kid Jeice, who looked half asleep. "Jeice its twelve o'clock at night, you better have a good excuse for knocking on my door at this hour of night." Zarbon said.

"Here is the severed head that you asked for Captain!" All the sudden Jeice pulled his underwear out of his pajama pants and tried to give it to Zarbon, "Well take it; I worked hard on killing that bastard!" Jeice said.

Zarbon's eyes were wide, "Oh boy this is getting weird." He then shut the door, got onto the phone, and phoned Apple, "Apple something is wrong with Jeice, and he's half asleep and delusional too!" Zarbon said.

"Hold on I'll be right by your room in a minute!" Apple said.

Apple came to Zarbon's room and examined Jeice, "See he's acting strange!" Zarbon said.

All the sudden Jeice took Zarbon's cat Blacky and took him to the bathroom, "What are you doing with my cat!" Zarbon said running after him.

"Here I'll wax the laser guns Captain!" Jeice then turned the sink on and tried to put Blacky into the sink, and then Zarbon grabbed Blacky from him.

"Are you crazy, you could have killed my baby!" Zarbon said hugging Blacky tightly.

"Don't worry Captain I'll go wash some new laser guns." All the sudden Jeice dropped down and talked no more, he was now snoring.

"I hate to say this Zarbon, but your crazy kid appeared to be sleepwalking." Apple said.

"I've never heard of it, what is sleepwalking?" asked Zarbon.

"It's a neurological disorder that makes you walk in your sleep, I think." Apple said.

"We need to get him back into bed, where is he sleeping?" asked Zarbon.

"He's sleeping with those other Ginyu Force kids." Apple said.

Zarbon and Apple took Jeice back to the room, they heard some talking going on in the room and then they opened the door to see that the kids were doing rock, paper, scissors instead of being asleep, "Lets try this again, we need to see who will turn the light out!" Tina yelled.

"Rock, paper, scissors! Rock, paper, scissors!" They yelled and kept on getting the same thing.

"All right what is going on here?" asked Apple.

"Oh my God we're fucked, it's the adults!" Burter said. The kids screamed and hid under the bed, in the closet and even under the mattress.

"Kids that's enough for tonight, you are up way too late you need to get to bed so that you can get up nice and early in the morning!" Zarbon said putting Jeice into his bed and putting the covers over him.

"We can't decide who's going to turn the lights out!" Recoome said.

"Fine I'll turn the lights off!" Zarbon then turned the lights off, "Now get to bed!" Zarbon said leaving the room with Apple and shutting the door behind him.

Next morning Zarbon and Apple got up to wake the kids up for breakfast, "Hey kids I'm about to open the door up!" Zarbon said, so he opened the door up and noticed that the light was still out, "Can somebody please tell me why the bloody light is out?" asked Zarbon.

All the sudden he heard the dreadful words again, "Rock, paper, scissors!" the kids yelled.

Apple turned on the lights, "Ok why are you doing rock, paper, scissors again?" asked Apple getting annoyed with them.

"Because we woke up an hour ago and we were doing rock, paper, scissors so that we can choose who gets to turn the light on." Tina said.

"So let me get this straight you did rock, paper, scissors for an hour and you still haven't decided yet?" asked Zarbon.

"It was dark we couldn't see!" Jeice said.

Apple slapped his hand on his head, while Zarbon blushed, "Who taught you such a dumb decision making process?" asked Zarbon.

"Captain Ginyu says that we have to do it so we can take turns practicing our powers out, or if we attack other planets we have to do it to see who goes first." Jeice said.

"Kids just get dressed and meet us in the cafeteria in an hour ok?" asked Apple.

Apple and Zarbon left for the cafeteria, "I hate to say this, but I was wrong about wanting to show them what I like to do in my spare time, those kids are annoying." Apple said.

"Yes they are, but patience is required gratefully." Zarbon said.

At breakfast things got a whole lot worst, when the kids finally came into the cafeteria they did not go by Zarbon and Apple like they should have, they decided to practice their interrogation techniques. In other words, they decided to bother some of the other solders, for instance Tina went up to Shasha Freezer's most ruthless henchman who was the same species as Zarbon and was his ex trainer.

"Excuse me sir, do you have any idea how to make a guy like you?" Tina asked.

Shasha looked at her as if she was nuts, "Who the hell are you?" he asked in his thick, raspy Russian accent.

"My name is Tina Baxter, I'm in love with Jeice and I want to impress him and…" All the sudden Jeice came over to Tina.

"Tina why are you going around telling people that you love me, I told you we don't have anything in common, you are a total nerd to me!" Jeice said.

"But I love you Jeice!" Tina then hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek.

"Ew you are so gross Tina!" Jeice yelled.

Shasha laughed and then decided to walk away, "God those kids are so stupid!" he said annoyed.

Burter went over to Dodoria while he was eating his breakfast quickly and eating with his mouth opened, "You know you're not supposed to eat with your mouth opened right?" asked Burter.

Dodoria looked at Burter, "Sorry but I can do whatever I want; I'm Freezer's top henchman!" Dodoria said.

"But Captain Ginyu said that you could choke and that you can end up driving people away if you eat with your mouth opened." Burter said.

Meanwhile at the table Zarbon was eating his breakfast and Apple was staring at those kids annoying the crap out of the other solders, "Zarbon would I be evil if I say that we need to get those kids to come to breakfast and keep them quiet?" asked Apple.

"No not at all, let's get those trouble makers over here." Zarbon then got up and Apple did too. Zarbon went over to Jeice and Tina who were bothering the Sayains, "Come on guys lets go eat some breakfast, Vegeta and his friends don't want talk to you I'm sure of it." Zarbon said.

"You know I'm the same age as you Vegeta." Jeice said.

"So what, get lost I don't like to interact with people that aren't my own kind!" Vegeta said.

"Come on guys let's go!" Zarbon then forcefully picked Tina and Jeice up and took them over to the table.

Meanwhile Burter was still bothering Dodoria, "Get lost kid before I throw my food at you." Dodoria said.

"How much do you weight, you're really fat." Burter said.

"Why you little," Dodoria was about to whack him across the room when all the sudden, Apple came to the rescue.

"Leave him alone he's just a boy." Apple said grabbing Burter by the hand and taking him over to the table.

"Yah then teach him some manners!" Dodoria said, and then he belched loudly.

"Let's see there are at least three of you, where are Recoome and Guldo?" asked Zarbon.

"I haven't seen Guldo, but he said that he was going to go over to the salad bar." Jeice said.

"The salad bar isn't even opened!" Zarbon said running into the kitchen, then he spotted Guldo eating what was to be the day's salad bar.

Guldo looked innocently up at Zarbon, "Captain Ginyu said I needed to go on a diet." He said.

"Come on." Zarbon then picked him up and took him back into the cafeteria.

"Zarbon we're missing what's his name!" Apple said.

"Recoome where are you?" Zarbon yelled to the top of his lungs. Recoome somehow dropped from the ceiling and into Zarbon's arms.

"Duh here I am!" he said giggling very goofily.

"No offence but what's wrong with him?" asked Apple.

"He's retarded." Jeice said.

"That's not very nice." Zarbon said with a stern look on his face.

"No he doesn't mind it at all." Burter said.

"Yah I took an IC test and it said that I was fifty percent smart!" he said laughing horsey.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Why isn't he in a special ed class then?" he asked.

"Because Captain Ginyu saw some potential in me, whatever that means!" he then giggled again.

Zarbon then set him down, "Ok line up Ginyu Force this instance, from now on whenever Captain Ginyu isn't around you, I'm the new Captain Ginyu!" Zarbon said walking back and forth.

"Yes sir!" They yelled saluting him.

"Now as the new captain I will say that I'm an experience general who went to military school since I was fourteen years old, I graduated to the top of my class and I am one of Freezer's top henchmen! I'm also his, well almost devoted slave and heir to the throw and…" Before Zarbon could ramble on some more Apple interrupted.

"Get to the point!" he said.

"Ok then what I'm trying to say is that whenever Captain Ginyu isn't around you're going to do as I say, you got it?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes sir!" they said.

"Yes Captain Ginyu!" Recoome said.

Zarbon again rolled his eyes, "All right then now march to the…" All the sudden Captain Ginyu came into the cafeteria and all the sudden the kids ran over to him, "Well I guess I'm out of commission." Zarbon said.

"Captain Ginyu Zarbon is our new leader now!" Recoome said.

"What? Zarbon can I talk to you for a moment please?" asked Captain Ginyu.

"Yes what is it?" asked Zarbon.

"Do you realize what you have just done, I mean that's nice that you want to be a leader and all, but what would happen if Freezer were to find out?" asked Captain Ginyu.

Zarbon's eyes then grew wide, "What?" he asked. God was it just him or was Captain Ginyu a little on the dumb side this morning?

"In other words, these kids are a handful and the reason why Freezer chosen me as the leader of the Ginyu Force Campus was because I am good with kids and I know how to handle them." Captain Ginyu said.

"Yes I know that." Zarbon said.

"Can't Zarbon be our new leader when you're not around, please?" asked Jeice.

"No way!" Captain Ginyu said.

"Oh come on!" Burter said.

"Oh all right, just watch Recoome really closely, after all he is retarded." Captain Ginyu said he then went over to get a muffin.

"Ok fellows you said that you wanted me to be your new leader, well as your new leader we're going into the woods on a camping trip!" Zarbon said.

"You mean like boy scouts?" asked Guldo.

"Not exactly, we're going to learn out the great outdoors!" Zarbon said.

"This is boring when are we going to grind someone's brain?" asked Tina.

"We're only going to stay for one night!" Zarbon said.

Little did Zarbon know that this was a bad idea from the beginning, so he, Kiwi, Apple, Liya and the Ginyu Force went into the rainforest for the night to keep them busy.

"Freezer said we were supposed to spend the night in his palace not out in the middle of the woods." Tina said.

"She is right you know, besides Zarbon you're not an outdoorsy person." Liya said.

"I know I'm not, but it will be a great learning experience for all of us." All the sudden a huge tarantula went onto Zarbon's shoulder.

Kiwi then panicked, "Zarbon I don't want to frighten you, but there is a tarantula on your shoulder!" Kiwi said.

Zarbon looked, "Ew I hate spiders! Get it off, get it off!" Zarbon then started dancing around and the kids were all laughing at him, then Apple grabbed the spider and then put it down.

"Run off little fellow hurry!" Apple said. The tarantula then did what Apple said, it ran off.

"Now let's go over the rules, rule number one don't get water from the same place!" Zarbon said.

"Why not?" asked Recoome.

"There are crocodiles!" Zarbon said.

"But we eat crocodiles!" Guldo said.

"Yes but they can eat you too, so just do as I say, Apple take it from here!" Zarbon said.

"Rule number two, stick together, if one of you gets lost then we won't be able to find you, take it from here Liya!" Apple said.

"Rule number three, don't talk to strangers or any animals!" Liya said.

"I doubt that they'll meet any stranger out here in the middle of the rainforest Liya. Rule number four we don't have any television so there will be no soap operas, no movies and no TV shows!" Kiwi said.

"Good because I bought Snow White on VHS just in case we need to watch something!" Tina said holding the VHS up, all the sudden Kiwi grabbed it from her and threw it far away, "What did you do that for?" asked Tina.

"Because we're in the woods there is no television!" Kiwi said.

That night they were around the campfire, despite the fact that it was hot during the day, it was cool at night, "So who wants to tell ghost stories?" asked Kiwi.

"I'm scared of ghosts, there is this woman ghost that came to me the other night and she was really hot, and she was looking for you Zarbon!" Recoome said.

"That would be my mum." Zarbon said.

"How about a funny story instead!" Liya said.

"Yah that's better than a ghost story!" Burter said.

"Ok let me tell one, because Zarbon can't tell a joke, Liya is too much of a bitch, and Apple is a loser!" Kiwi said.

"Oh so we're just beef jerky to you?" asked Liya.

"Exactly now shut up I want to tell the story, ok listen up now…" All the sudden Kiwi made a farting noise and the kids were cracking up.

"Kiwi that is horrible, you're teaching them bad manners!" Liya said.

"Actually Liya that was kind of funny!" Zarbon said laughing.

"Ew I'm going to my tent!" Liya then got up, went to her tent and then zipped it up.

"What's her problem?" asked Jeice.

"She just doesn't like kids as much as Kiwi, Apple and I do." Zarbon said.

"Yah don't pay any attention to her, she's just a bitch is all." Kiwi said frying a weenie on a stick.

"Guess what time it is!" Apple said.

"What?" asked the Ginyu Force.

"Its marshmallow time!" Apple said taking a bag of marshmallows out.

"Hooray!" The Ginyu Force dug into the bag of marshmallows and put them on sticks, whereas Recoome put at least ten of them at a time on his stick.

Then later on Zarbon sang a song in his beautiful baritone voice, which made the kids sleepy, after all they ate a bunch of food. Zarbon, Kiwi and Apple took the kids to their tent, put them to bed in their sleeping bags and went to bed themselves.

Later that night, the Ginyu Force woke up, "I say we ditch the adults!" Recoome said.

"Come on guys, Zarbon was trying to be nice and keep us out of trouble." Jeice said.

"How do we know that he's trying to keep us out of trouble, I read in the tabloids that there was this one camp counselor who raped his troops!" Tina said.

"You know I didn't think of that, but Zarbon doesn't come off to me as someone who would harm children!" Jeice said.

"Let's not take any chances, don't forget that Kiwi and Apple could be sexual predators too, and what about that bitch Liya!" Guldo said.

"She's pretty!" Recoome said with the dumbest looking smile on his face.

"I seriously think Zarbon and his friends are trying to keep us out of trouble, after all Captain Ginyu did say that we were a handful." Jeice said.

"Fuck what Captain Ginyu said; let's get out of here before they wake up!" Burter said they all ran away from the tent.

The next day bright and early, Liya was the first to wake up. Maybe was being too much of a bitch, maybe today she would try to be more friendly to the kids. She went to their tent, "Guys I'm really sorry about last night!" She noticed that they were gone. She ran to Zarbon's tent and woke him up, "Zarbon wake up!" she yelled.

"What's the matter, I didn't bring any condoms even though we haven't done it in like forever." Zarbon said.

"No you moron! Where are the children, they're gone!" She yelled.

"What? Are you kidding?" asked Zarbon.

They ran to Apple's tent, Apple was still asleep, "Apple wake up!" Zarbon said shaking him.

"Hey can't I sleep in for once?" asked Apple.

"The kids are gone!" Liya yelled.

"Let's go wake up Kiwi!" Apple said getting up quickly. They ran to Kiwi's tent and then they went into his tent and he was not there.

"Oh no Kiwi is gone too?" Zarbon asked.

"I'm over here losers, I was just getting some firewood in case we would spend the night in the woods again." Kiwi said with firewood in his arms.

"Kiwi where are the kids?" asked Liya.

"Aren't they in their tent?" asked Kiwi.

"No they're gone!" Zarbon said.

Kiwi dropped the firewood, "Let's go find them!" He yelled.

They looked all day, they could not find those little tikes anywhere, they were about to give up, "Let's go back to the palace and just tell them that we lost them." Kiwi said.

"Are you crazy, Freezer would have our heads for that, what would Captain Ginyu say?" Liya asked.

"Something retarded like "We are the Ginyu Force!"" Kiwi said laughing.

"This is no time for jokes, we need to find those kids and no we're not going back until we do!" Zarbon said.

"They're probably screwed anyways, they know nothing about the woods and they could have fallen into a swamp or something." Apple said.

"We have to at least try, I'm not going back just to be beheaded, I'm too scared!" Zarbon said.

"Yes I already saw my husband and daughter fall to the axe, I don't want to see Zarbon fall to the axe too!" Liya said.

"Liya calm down, we'll find them!" Apple said.

Three days pasted and they still could not find them, "Ok we need to go home, it's too hot and I need a bandaged!" Apple said.

"No we're going to search for those kids if it takes till another week!" Zarbon said.

"It's been three days Zarbon!" Liya said.

"Let's see if I were a kid, where would I go out in the middle of the woods?" Kiwi thought.

That night, the kids were in fact sticking together and they camped in a different part of the woods, "It's so hot I need some water!" Recoome said.

"You heard Zarbon we can't go back to the same water place, because a crocodile will get us." Jeice said empting his boots, there was a scorpion in it, "Ew I hate scorpions!" Jeice then stepped on it.

"Look I found my video tape!" Tina said looking at it, she then tried to pick it up and a huge snake came over to her, "Help a snake!" she yelled.

Jeice then ran over to her, grabbed the snake and threw it far away then he picked up the video tape and gave it to Tina, "Here is your video back Tina." Jeice said.

"Oh Jeice you saved my life!" She then hugged him.

"Please don't, you'll give me leukemia!" Jeice said.

"Let's check to see if my tape is all right!" Tina said opening it up and she saw that it smashed, "I don't like Kiwi anymore!" She then started crying.

"It was a dumb girl movie anyways." Burter said.

"I need some water badly!" Recoome said going over to the river, little did he know that there was a dinocroc waiting in the water waiting for him to come closer so he could grab him.

End of Part 1


	3. Chapter 3

_Meet the Ginyu Force, Part 2_

Recoome bent down and licked the water as if he was a water buffalo, and the crocodile grabbed him and pulled him under the water. "Oh my God, a croc got Recoome!" Tina said.

"I'll just in and save him!" Burter then jumped into the water, then threw the croc out of the water, and then charged at him when he charged back and then he went through the croc and split him in half, it was dead and Recoome, whom the croc swallowed whole, came out of the corpse.

"Dude his guts taste like chicken, raw chicken!" Recoome said.

"Come on let's get out of here, we need to find a different location so that we don't attract more dinocrocs." Guldo said.

They ventured on into the night, not knowing where the winds of fate would take them.

Meanwhile with Zarbon and his gang of merry men, not including Liya, were still walking in the rainforest and they were tired, "Ok I say we take a rest here!" Zarbon said falling down from exhaustion.

The next day somewhere deep in the rainforest, Freezer and Cooler's annoying seventeen-year-old cousin Icey was camping with her thirty-three year old general husband Constantine. She had a mild case of Tourette syndrome.

She was overbearing and annoying too, "Oh Constantine I am so glad that we get a vacation, traveling around planet Freezer and promoting people the join the military is such a hard job to do!" Icey said.

"What do you mean we, you always go shopping with your friend Alice while I'm the one who gets stuck with the promoting." Constantine said setting up camp. He was in some regular camping clothing whereas Icey decided to wear a fancy dress and bonnet.

"You know Constantine it wouldn't kill you to come shopping with us, it's so much fun, and Alice brings Apple along while I'm just by myself." Icey said. After all Alice was a concubine who worked in the palace while she was dating Apple at the same time.

"I'm not into those kinds of stuff." Constantine said.

"Maybe you would be if you gave me a chance, instead of promoting your stupid propaganda for Freezer's army!" Icey said.

"Icey are we going to get into another argument, do we really have to?" asked Constantine.

"Why won't we have any kids? My friend Selena has kids." Icey said.

"Well your friend Selena is a whore who goes around sleeping with random men just to get pregnant!" Constantine said.

"You don't know her like I do! When are we going to have children?" asked Icey.

"Will you quit asking me? Damn females, all they do is complain and complain!" Constantine said nailing down the rope for the tent.

"I'm supposed to look pretty aren't I, at least until I get pregnant?" Icey said putting on some lipstick.

"Why are you putting makeup on, we're out in the middle of the rainforest!" Constantine said finishing the job of putting the tent up. "You haven't done a damn thing since we got here; you need to pitch in somehow." Constantine said.

"I did so; I put some lipstick on just now!" Icey said.

"That doesn't count! Leave your girlly utensils at home!" Constantine said.

"I can't believe that Freezer wanted me to marry you, why didn't he pick a better match for me?" Icey thought to herself.

All the sudden something was in the bushes, "What was that?" asked Constantine.

"What?" Icey asked.

"There is something in the bushes, we need to go over there and see who or what it is!" Constantine then got his laser gun and went over.

"What did you bring your laser gun?" asked Icey.

"You know there might be some assassins crawling around." Constantine said.

"In the middle of the rainforest? What an idea!" Icey said.

All the sudden Jeice jumped out of the bush and it scared Constantine, then Constantine saw that it was Jeice, "Never mind dear it's just a child!" He said.

"Where did he come from? Maybe he's like one of those wild feral children, do you speak English?" asked Icey.

"Yes I was raised to, oh wait I forgot to do my introduction, Jeice!" Jeice then struck a pose.

All the sudden Guldo ran out and struck a pose, "Guldo!" he yelled.

Recoome did a front flip landing in front of Icey, "Recoome!"

"Burter, damn I forgot to pose." He said.

"Tina!" Tina then ran out and posed.

"We are the Ginyu Force!" They yelled.

"Well what are you doing out here in the middle of the woods? Are you training?" asked Icey.

"We were camping and we wanted to get away from Zarbon and his friends!" Burter said.

"Isn't that dangerous to travel by yourselves in unknown territory?" asked Icey.

"We were afraid that Zarbon and his friends would rape us!" Recoome said.

Icey then laughed, "That's silly he wouldn't hurt anyone, unless Freezer asked him to."

"You mean he's not a child molester?" asked Guldo.

"No that's silly, he's really nice, and he saved my life from his psychotic ex girlfriend Liya one time." Icey said.

"You don't mean that chick with the long snout do you?" asked Burter.

"Yes she has fish lips at the end of it too, I don't know what her problem was but she thought I was trying to steal Zarbon away from her." Icey said.

"Enough dear these kids might be hungry we need to feed them." Constantine said.

"We brought plenty of food would you like some?" she asked.

"Yes!" They yelled.

All the sudden Icey got out the picnic basket and they ran for it once she opened it up, "One at a time, one at a time!" She said.

Meanwhile with Zarbon and friends, Zarbon's cell went off and he answered it, "Hello Zarbon speaking," He said.

"Zarbon how are my squadrons doing?" asked Captain Ginyu on the other end.

"They're doing great, are you ready to have them back?" asked Zarbon.

"It's been three days since I talked to you, put Jeice on the phone will you?" asked Captain Ginyu.

"Sure hold on." Zarbon said, then he talked masking Jeice's voice, "What's up Captain?" asked Zarbon who now sounded like a British rock star.

"You forgot your sleepwalking medicine I have it here with me so that when you come back you can take it." Captain Ginyu said.

"Sorry Captain I was so excited to go on a camping trip that it slipped my mind." Zarbon said.

"Also tell Recoome that he forgot his diapers, you know the ones that he shits in. I thought I had him potty trained, but the kid is still shitting his pants and to think that he's only thirteen years old." Ginyu said.

"Don't worry everything is fine, I had him mark his spot on a tree and then I had him shit on the ground and burry it." Zarbon said.

"Great put Zarbon back on the phone please." Ginyu said.

"Captain Zarbon, Ginyu wants to talk to you again!" Zarbon yelled in Jeice's voice. Then he talked in his regular voice, "Yes Captain Ginyu sir?" asked Zarbon.

"Make sure that no matter how long you stay in the rainforest that you get my babies back safe and sound ok? I'll see you when you get back here general!" Then Ginyu hung up.

"Why were you talking like Jeice just a second ago?" asked Kiwi.

"It's a long story, come on those kids aren't going to find themselves!" Zarbon said continuing to walk.

That night the Ginyu Force were around a campfire with Icey and Constantine, they were roasting crocodile claws, "Are you having a good time children?" asked Icey.

"Yes Icey!" Jeice said roasting a weenie.

"So tell me do you like your new captain?" Constantine asked snickering.

"Yes he's awesome, Apple is nice too, Kiwi is ok, but Liya is such a bitch!" Burter said.

"Yah Liya is such a bitch isn't she? I don't know what Zarbon ever saw in her, he thought she was so pretty and he would let her manipulate him, at least from what I heard." Icey said roasting a weenie.

"Well who does that sound like?" asked Constantine roasting a croc claw.

"Constantine don't discuss our marital problems ok?" asked Icey.

"Take my advice kids, don't ever get married. If you are forced into it then run as far away as possible." Constantine said.

"I want to marry Jeice!" Tina said.

"Tina you are gross!" Jeice said throwing a weenie at her.

"Well look who's talking, are we going to argue like Liya and Constantine when we get married?" asked Tina.

"Ok enough girl talk, let's talk about something else, like why did you pose for us today?" asked Constantine.

"We always pose before fighting and introducing ourselves. Captain Ginyu makes us do it; we didn't say that we liked it." Jeice said roasting another weenie.

"Uh oh I had another accident!" Recoome said raising his hand.

"Don't raise your hand, this isn't military school." Constantine said.

"What did you go this time?" asked Burter.

"I pooped." Recoome said.

"Come on lets go find a leaf for you to whip your butt on." Jeice then put his weenie down and took Recoome into the woods.

"What's the matter with your friend?" asked Icey.

"He's retarded." Tina said.

"That's not a very nice thing to say." Icey said.

"He doesn't care, he even told us himself." Guldo said.

"Where is his mother?" asked Icey.

"She abandoned him by putting him into an orphanage, because he's mentally handicapped or just plain stupid; he's never been diagnosed with anything." Burter said.

"That's terrible his mother just abandoned him?" asked Icey.

"Yep and to make matters worse when they gave him an IQ test in the orphanage they almost kicked him out just because he got an IQ score of fifty. It's not his fault that he's so retarded, if I were a retard like him then I'm sure that I would be stupid too." Tina said putting a marshmallow on the stick.

"How did he end up being friends with you guys?" Constantine asked.

"Captain Ginyu needed an extra hand around the campus and he took Recoome in when the officials said that he didn't have any parents. We were forced to become friends with him, we have to stick up for him each time someone picks on him, Captain Ginyu said so." Guldo said.

"Well he's lucky to have friends like you." Icey said.

"Yes we look out for one another not just for Recoome, our parents are such assholes too, and they sent us to this Ginyu Force School just so they could avoid us." Tina said.

"So all your parents abandoned you too?" asked Icey.

"Yes that's the way we look at it, but in real life we're not sure." Guldo said.

"God Recoome what did you eat?" asked Jeice.

"Croc guts!" he said. They all looked at him as if he was crazy.

"So what happened to Zarbon's parents, what about his friend's parents too?" asked Burter.

"Let's see Zarbon's mother abandoned him and gave him up to Freezer when he was three, Liya's parents have been dead for years, Kiwi never knew his parents, and Apple's mother still lives in the Ghetto in Downtown Freezer, but his father died when he was younger." Icey said.

"So they're orphans too?" asked Guldo.

"Well yes I suppose you could say that." Icey said. Then she thought of an idea, "Does Zarbon have a cell phone?" she asked.

"Yes I know his number too." Jeice said.

Meanwhile Zarbon was sleeping under the stars, all the sudden the phone rang and he picked it up, "Hello?" he asked.

"Zarbon are you in the rainforest still?" asked Icey.

"Icey how did you get my number?" asked Zarbon.

"Jeice gave it to me." She said.

"You mean Jeice is right next to you?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes and so are the rest of the Ginyu Force." Icey said.

"How did you find them?" asked Zarbon.

"No they found us, they were starving and we fed them some sandwiches hours ago and now we're sitting by the fireplace roasting weenies." Icey said.

"Where are you exactly located?" asked Zarbon.

"We're in the national rainforest Freezer reservation park for natural habitat for animals; I'm so glad the Cooler founded this park for me as a birthday present and…" Zarbon interrupted Icey.

"Good keep them there overnight, because we're kind of lost and I don't think we'll be able to find the park entrance until morning." Zarbon said hanging up.

"Who were you talking to?" asked Liya.

"Nobody, Apple's mum," Zarbon said.

"What did she want and how did she get your phone number?" asked Liya.

"Well Apple doesn't have a cell so she calls me instead if she wants to talk to him." Zarbon said.

"Well that's very strange; I'm going back to bed." Liya then went back to bed.

"That was a close one." Zarbon thought.

Next morning Icey was cooking breakfast for the Ginyu Force and for Constantine, "Who wants more oatmeal?" she asked.

"Do we have to eat oatmeal? I hate oatmeal." Burter said.

"Relax it's mixed with vanilla." She said.

"Hurry up with that oatmeal woman!" Burter said.

"You're going to have to wait an hour, it needs to get hot, and so I'm going to leave it out in the sun for about an hour!" Icey said putting it out in the sun.

"That's not fair!" Tina said.

"I knew we should have brought the microwave." Icey said.

"We're out in the middle of the forest, who cares?" Constantine said.

Meanwhile Zarbon and his friends walked up to the entrance to the national rainforest park, "So how do you know that they're in the park Zarbon?" asked Kiwi.

"Trust me my primal changeling instincts tell me so!" Zarbon said. All the sudden the cell ranged again and Zarbon picked it up, "Hello?" he asked.

"It's me again, the kids are hungry and they're begging me to give them oatmeal, but it has to heat up in the sun I told them." Icey said.

"Well welcome to motherhood sweetheart," Zarbon said.

"Whose on the phone?" asked Apple.

"It must be your mother, she was trying to contact you last night, but you were already in bed." Liya said.

"Give that to me!" Apple grabbed the phone from Zarbon, "Hello mom?" asked Apple.

"Apple is that you?" asked Icey.

"Icey what are you doing on the other line?" asked Apple.

"I'm here in the park with Constantine and we're watching over the Ginyu Force, they found us and they spent the night with us, and now I'm making them all breakfast." Icey said.

"Don't worry Icey we're coming where are you in the park?" asked Apple.

"We're on Forestwood road, or right by it." Icey said.

"Well we have to go now, bye!" Apple hung up the phone, "They're by Forestwood road she said!" Apple said.

"Who said, what is that slut doing on the phone?" asked Liya who looked pissed off.

"She's not a slut knock it off Liya!" Zarbon said.

"How dare you take her side, you're supposed to be taking my side!" she said as she pushed Zarbon.

"Don't push me, that's not nice!" Zarbon said.

"Guys stop fighting! We need those kids, now what did Icey say exactly?" asked Kiwi.

"She said that the Ginyu Force found her and her husband and that they're hungry and they spent the night with them." Zarbon said.

"That slut had them the whole time, oh that does it she's going to get punched when I find her!" Liya then walked ahead of them.

"Liya come back, we're not in a relationship how many times do I have to tell you?" asked Zarbon running after her.

"Boy do I feel sorry for Zarbon; I don't know what he sees in her." Kiwi said.

"Me either, but we better follow them." Apple said as he and Kiwi followed Zarbon and Liya.

Meanwhile the kids were digging into the oatmeal an hour later, and then Icey sighed, "I guess I'm going to have to fix more oatmeal then." She said.

All the sudden Liya found them, "There you guys are, I've been worried sick about you, you little terds wondered off and had us worried especially Zarbon! Poor Zarbon was just trying to have fun with you idiotic kids and what do you do, you turn your back on him and wonder off! You're a lot of work and if I were your mother I would hit all of you, especially you upside the head!" Liya said pointing to Icey.

"Liya where is Zarbon and Apple?" asked Icey.

"Don't question me bitch! You stole him from me yet again!" Liya said.

"What? I'm married happily to Constantine, that's such a silly statement!" Icey said crossing her arms.

"Get her Icey, we don't like Liya!" Jeice said.

"I do, she's pretty!" Recoome said laughing in a silly way.

"We're not supposed to like her, remember she is the one that can't stand kids." Burter said.

Zarbon appeared out of nowhere, "Guys you're here and there isn't a scratch on you!" Zarbon said.

"Zarbon!" All the kids were excited to see him; they ran over to him and Apple and gave them both hugs.

"I'm so glad that you're not a rapist or a child molester!" Jeice said.

"Where would you get such a stupid idea from?" asked Zarbon.

"The tabloids," Tina said.

"Don't listen to them, wait did someone make up a rumor about me?" asked Zarbon.

"No it was about a camp councilor that raped his troops." Tina said.

"I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about, but erase the image out of your head!" Zarbon said.

"Yes Captain Zarbon sir!" Tina said saluting Zarbon and then pausing for a moment.

"Well did you erase the image out of your head?" asked Zarbon.

"What image?" asked Tina.

"Good girl." Zarbon said.

"Zarbon what is she doing here?" asked Liya enraged.

"I don't know she's camping with Constantine I suppose!" Zarbon said.

"We are on holiday from Constantine spreading propaganda around, we only get to relax every once in a while!" Icey said.

"Correction you mean me dear, you always relax and go shopping with your friends Alice and Apple." Constantine said.

"Apple you're officially a trader!" Liya said.

"Oooo!" The Ginyu Force all said.

"Quiet troops!" Zarbon said.

"It's a different Apple I swear!" Apple said.

"No it's true it's the same Apple you're thinking of." Kiwi said.

"Shut up Kiwi." Apple said.

"Guys we came here for the Ginyu Force let's not have an all out battle about something that isn't even important!" Zarbon said.

"It's not the shopping that's pissing me off, how could you marry a spoiled brat Constantine!" Liya said going up to Icey and pushing her down.

"Liya stop it she didn't do anything!" Zarbon yelled.

"Get up and push her back Icey!" Jeice said.

"Don't encourage her Jeice!" Zarbon said.

"Yah just get up and beat the shit out of her!" Burter said.

"Push her down some more Liya!" Recoome yelled.

Icey got up, "I'm a lady, ladies don't get into fights." She said dusting herself off.

"Well you're forgetting that I'm a very feisty person, and when someone talks to my man and messes with him then they pay with their life!" Liya said pushing Icey again.

"Liya we broke up a long time ago!" Zarbon said.

"Yah Liya! Why can't you accept the fact that Zarbon isn't your true love?" Kiwi yelled.

"Ouch that must hurt Liya!" Burter yelled.

"Why don't you marry Icey instead when Constantine dies Zarbon? Liya's a bitch!" Guldo yelled.

"How many times do I have to tell you all, I dumped Liya's butt when she tried to kill Icey! Icey and I have nothing in common except the fact that we're both glamour pusses and that's all there is to that!" Zarbon yelled.

"Yes so leave me alone Liya or else you're going to get smacked!" Icey yelled. Liya punched Icey in the face, "You little bitch!" Icey punched Liya in the face and they started beating the crap out of each other.

"Somebody stop them!" Zarbon said.

"Not me, I'm enjoying this too much, why don't you stop them Zarbon?" asked Kiwi.

"Because Freezer told me never to get involved in chick fights, that's why." Zarbon said.

"Chick fight! Chick fight!" The Ginyu Force yelled.

"Don't encourage them, make them stop fighting!" Zarbon said.

"Are you kidding I haven't seen a chick fight this good since my mum and her best friend fought over my father." Constantine said laughing.

"Jeice gather the squadron and break the girls up, as your captain I order you to do so!" Zarbon said.

"Ok let's decide who gets to break Liya and Icey up!" Jeice yelled.

Then it happened again, "Rock, paper, scissors! Rock, paper, scissors! Rock, paper, scissors!" The Ginyu Force yelled.

"This isn't going to happen soon enough is it?" Apple asked.

"I'm afraid not," Zarbon said with a depressed look on his face.

Later on the Ginyu Force kept getting the same thing, either a rock, a paper, or a scissors, and Zarbon had to take matters into his own hands, "Come on Apple let's break them up, I've had enough of these chick fights, they're too vicious to watch!" Zarbon said.

"I agree, you get Liya, I'll get Icey!" Apple said.

Zarbon and Apple went towards Icey and Liya, Icey accidently punched Zarbon in the face, while Liya kicked Apple down, yep this was going to take an extra effort, so Zarbon got pissed off and got in between them and blasted them away from one another in different directions, "That's enough! I've had enough!" Zarbon said pissed off.

"Does that mean none of us have to separate Icey and Liya?" asked Tina.

A few hours later, everyone was back at the palace and Zarbon, Kiwi, Apple, Constantine and the Ginyu Squad stood behind Icey and Liya who were sitting down in separate chairs. Icey had two black eyes and a bloody lip, while Liya's snout was broken and she had two black eyes, both of them had bruises and scratch marks on their bodies.

To make matters worse, Freezer was sitting down at his desk while Captain Ginyu and Cooler were standing behind him. Freezer looked ticked off, "Icey what did I tell you about fighting with other girls?" asked Freezer.

"That it's not lady-like and that I'll make a bunch of enemies." Icey said she had a broken front tooth.

"Why didn't you break up the fight Constantine?" asked Freezer.

"Because I wanted to see a good chick fight is all!" Constantine said blushing with embarrassment.

"So you let my beloved cousin fight with another girl, that's your wife!" Cooler said enraged, after all Cooler loved Icey more than Freezer actually did.

"Zarbon why did you break up the chick fight?" asked Freezer.

"Because the stupid Ginyu Forcer were doing their stupid rock, paper, scissors and kept getting the same thing, it just got to the point where Apple and I had to break them up. Then they injured us and I had to blast them into different directions just to separate them!" Zarbon said with a frustrated look on his face.

"Kiwi, Apple why didn't you break them up the moment the fight began?" asked Freezer.

"I didn't want any part of it." Kiwi said.

"Yah besides everyone knows that chick fights are the most vicious thing known to man." Apple said.

"Liya why did you pick a fight with our cousin Icey?" asked Cooler.

"Because she stole my man from me!" Icey said with a lisp.

"Liya Zarbon clearly stated that you and he are no longer a couple, I'm disappointed in you for being so delusional!" Freezer said.

"Ginyu Force you are to blame mostly for this incident, you shouldn't have to do rock, paper, scissors just to decide who gets to do what! That is the dumbest thing I have ever seen or heard of in my life!" Cooler said.

"It's not our fault; Captain Ginyu put us up to it!" Jeice said.

"Ginyu sometimes I swear that you're not my cup of tea. As punishment, all of you are suspended!" Freezer said pounding his fist on the desk.

"That's not fair!" Kiwi yelled.

"Yah what do you mean suspended!" Jeice yelled.

"Zarbon, Kiwi, Liya and Apple aren't allowed to go on any missions and Zarbon is suspended from doing anything military- like! The Ginyu Squad will be out of commission for at least a week, therefore consider yourselves on a holiday, this means no practicing and this will go on your records too!" Freezer said.

"Isn't that a little harsh sir?" asked Ginyu.

"Shut up Ginyu I'm not finished yet! Icey and Constantine you two are under house arrest and you two can't go out for a week to do campaigning!" Freezer said.

"Yes we get to spend some more time together!" Icey said.

"Oh no!" Constantine said.

"Now get out all of you! I'm surrounded by idiots!" Freezer said breaking his desk in half, everyone then ran out of the room afraid.

"We're sorry that we got you suspended Zarbon." Jeice said.

"It's all right I need a break anyways." Zarbon said.

"So now that we're suspended what should we do?" asked Kiwi.

"I say we go to my house and have a tea party!" Icey said.

"All right!" The Ginyu Force said.

"Under one condition," Kiwi said.

Later on everyone went to Icey's house for a tea party, it was a lovely time and everyone was enjoying himself or herself except for Liya who was still mad, she could not talk much; it hurt to talk due to her broken snout.

"Liya let's be friends shall we?" asked Icey.

Liya got pissed off and tried to attack Icey, but then Kiwi pressed a electric shock onto her and she sat down, "Isn't that electric band a little too harsh Kiwi?" asked Zarbon.

"Dude your ex is psycho I had to do something to prevent another chick fight." Kiwi said.

"Come on I can take you shopping and we can hang out with Alice, I know that Alice is your friend too." Icey said.

Liya wanted to attack her and it looked like she was barely about to, when all the sudden Kiwi zapped her again, "Sorry Liya but even when you think about it I'll zap you!" Kiwi said.

"Forget it Icey she won't concede." Zarbon said.

"Yah but this tea sure is good!" Jeice said.

"I agree, my mom makes excellent tea, now I'm not so sure anymore!" Apple said drinking it.

"Surely the tea isn't that great, I'm flattered!" Icey said giggling obnoxiously.

"We should come over here more often!" Burter said.

Kiwi zapped Liya, "Yep I know that you're thinking about it!" Kiwi said.

"That looks like fun, give me that!" Icey said she then zapped Liya a lot and the Ginyu Force were laughing.

"Icey that's enough, give it to me!" Zarbon said taking the zapper from her.

"Women, they're nothing but trouble." Constantine said as he was finishing his tea.

End of Story


	4. Chapter 4

_Vegeta Joins the Ginyu Force, part 1_

Vegeta was minding his own business in the hallway eating a banana, then Dodoria came up to him, "Hello Vegeta." Dodoria said.

"What do you want dodo brain?" Vegeta asked.

"I want to make you be cool, you know so you can join my clique." Dodoria said.

"What are you talking about? You don't have a clique, the only clique you have is hanging out with that bastard Shasha Michliv because you're ugly and smelly!" Vegeta said eating another banana.

"Well then you haven't been in my clique! "Dodoria said.

"What do you mean?" Vegeta asked.

"I know how much you hate Zarbon." Dodoria said.

"Yah his sister married another man; of course I hold a huge grudge against him." Vegeta said.

"How about we steal his underwear, just to show that you're serious?" Dodoria asked smiling.

"But aren't you one of Zarbon's best friends?" Vegeta asked.

"No way, he gets on my nerves; I mean he's so picky and so shy. He doesn't talk much and he needs to get a life!" Dodoria said.

"Is this some joke?" Vegeta asked.

"Come on let's get back at him!" Dodoria said grabbing Vegeta by the arm and leading him to Zarbon's room.

"How did you get the key?" Vegeta asked.

"Who said anything about a key? We're breaking the door down!" Dodoria then took Vegeta and threw him into the door and he landed on the floor inside the room.

"Where is his drawer?" Vegeta asked.

"It's over there!" Dodoria said pointing to the dresser.

"Ok let's get this over with." Vegeta then went over to the drawer, he opened it up and saw that Zarbon had some exotic looking underwear, "What a moron, it's not like he's manizes or womanizes, why would he wear fancy underwear for?" Vegeta thought.

Then a walky talky came on and Dodoria picked it up, "This Shasha, Zarbon is coming down the hallway!" Shasha said in his raspy deep, sounding Russian accent on the other side. Shasha was Zarbon's brother-in-law and his ex trainer, he was also the same species and had dark blue hair, a dark blue complexion, with red eyes and a huge scar going across his face.

Zarbon was walking down the hallway with Liya, his on and off bitchy girlfriend who was not even close to being his own species, they bumped into Shasha as Shasha hid the walky talky. "Shasha what are you standing in our way for?" Liya asked.

Although Shasha murdered Liya's mom when he went to her home planet to pick her up and bring her to planet Freezer to be a playmate for Zarbon when they were kids, he rather developed a little crush on her over time.

Dodoria even had a crush on her and Freezer did too, although it killed Shasha that he was the only one she did not or accidently did not want to do it with, even Vegeta had done it with her, only because they got drunk. "Hello Liya you look tasty today." He said smiling with his thick looking Slavic lips.

"Get lost before I knock your block off!" Liya said.

He glared at her and then muttered, "Это невозьможно!"

"God will you speak English already you silly bluebell!" Liya asked.

Zarbon then had an uncomfortable look on his face, "Uh Liya I hate to say it, but I'm turquoise completed," Zarbon said.

"So sorry, why does everyone who is of Cyrillic decent want to speak only Russian or mostly Russian, it drives me nuts!" Liya said as she was walking away with Zarbon.

"I'm of Cyrillic decent too Liya and I don't speak Russian." Zarbon said.

"One of these days I'll get you into bed with me Liya." Shasha thought.

Dodoria ran out of the room quietly while Vegeta was trying to steal as much underwear as he possibly could, Zarbon and Liya then walked into Zarbon's room, "That's strange who broke the door down?" Liya asked.

Then they saw Vegeta with Zarbon's underwear in his hands, "Oh my God, it's Vegeta! He's gone full blown homo on us!" Liya yelled fainting.

Moments later, Zarbon was on the bed talking to Vegeta, "Now Vegeta I know that you're curious, but if you have feelings for a man then why would you sneak into his room and steal his underwear?" Zarbon asked.

"I'm not gay! We've had this conversation before! I don't have feelings for you!" Vegeta said crossing his arms.

"I'm not gay either, in fact Freezer and I are the only bi-sexual beings in the palace, and everyone else is either gay or straight." Zarbon said.

"I'm straight dummy!" Vegeta said.

"Vegeta why don't you go back to Nappa and Raddiz they need you." Zarbon said.

"Fine hippy!" Vegeta said getting up and walking out of the room.

"Now what should I do about Vegeta?" Zarbon thought then he started to mediate, and came up with an idea, "I've got it!"

Zarbon then did the dumb thing as he always did, he went to Freezer for advice, "Freezer I think that Vegeta is rather lonely." Zarbon said.

"So what I don't care, I hate the little twerp." Freezer said.

"Oh I do too, but I still think that he deserves some friends other than brutes like Nappa and Raddiz." Zarbon said.

"Ok fine I have an idea, why doesn't he hang out with you, Kiwi, Apple and Liya!" Freezer said.

"But sir, they don't…" Freezer interrupted Zarbon.

"Sorry Zarbon unless you have a better idea that Vegeta can make better friends than Nappa and Raddiz just let him hang out with you guys!" Freezer said.

"But…"

"But nothing, you're dismissed!" Freezer said.

At lunchtime, Zarbon bravely went over to the Sayain table; Vegeta was sitting there alone, because Raddiz and Nappa were on a mission, "Hello Vegeta." Zarbon said.

"What do you want glamour-puss?" Vegeta asked.

"I want you to come and have lunch with us." Zarbon said smiling.

"I'm not interested in you I told you already that I'm straight!" Vegeta said taking a bit out of a banana.

"No that's not what I mean, come on let's go to the table I want you to have a nice conversation with us." Zarbon took Vegeta by the hand and took him to his table where Kiwi, Apple and Liya were sitting.

"What is that monkey abomination doing over here?" Kiwi asked.

"Hey be nice, his friends are on a mission and he's alone now." Zarbon said.

"He should have thought about that before he hit on you!" Liya said glaring at Vegeta.

"Liya, how many times do I have to tell you to stop being so jealous? He's not even gay, he told him himself." Zarbon said.

"Yah like twelve times already!" Vegeta said snickering.

"Zarbon you know that you're not supposed to be looking at other people when you're with me!" Liya said.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Will you stop that, I haven't looked since the day we got back together!" Zarbon said.

"I told you that you should have dated someone else." Apple said eating a baloney sandwich.

"Yah someone better looking." Vegeta said snickering.

"Shut up you dirty monkey!" Liya then slapped him in the face.

"I'll leave now!" Vegeta said running out of the cafeteria.

"Vegeta wait, that wasn't supposed to happen! They were supposed to befriend you!" Zarbon said running after Vegeta.

"Sometimes Zarbon is so naïve, I mean he's a gentle smart kid, but when is he going to learn that only Vegeta can decide when to come around?" Apple asked.

"Yah he shouldn't try to force it I agree with you, Vegeta does have potential, if only we weren't so rude." Kiwi said.

"Oh my God, I can't believe that my boyfriend is in love with Vegeta! I need a shoulder to cry on!" Liya said crying.

"Liya Zarbon doesn't even like Vegeta, what makes you think…" Apple stopped talking when Shasha heard Liya's cries, and sat down next to her.

"What's the matter malinkiya debooshka?" he asked.

"Leave me alone you pervert!" she said covering her eyes.

"You know I could make better boyfriend than him, I'm not so attractive like him, but I can be really good in bed." Shasha said.

"But Shasha you killed Liya's mother, how do you except her to like you let alone sleep with you?" Kiwi asked.

"Look I have this under control!" Shasha said.

"Shasha fuck off!" Liya then slapped him in the face and walked off.

"Could you please tell me how to get her into bed with me?" Shasha asked.

"Hey you're married to Zarbon's sister, how could you even think to sleep with Liya?" Apple asked with an angry look on his face.

"Oh please I have raped so many girls while I was married to Miretta." Shasha said with a smirk on his face.

"Ew, aren't you afraid that you'll get a sexually transmitted disease?" Kiwi asked.

"Nope, I already…" Apple interrupted Shasha.

"That does it; I can't stand this conversation anymore!" Apple angrily got his lunch tray and walked away to throw it in the garbage.

"But I don't have sexual transmitted disease!" Shasha yelled.

Kiwi then thought of something and smiled at Shasha, "Wait right here I'll be right back!" he yelled to Shasha and ran away after Apple into the hallway.

"Apple I got an idea, how about we help Shasha get Liya into bed with him!" Kiwi asked.

"But I like Liya as a friend; I can't betray her like that. Besides, Zarbon would have a cow if he found out that they were going out with one another." Apple said.

"That's the whole point; we don't like Liya being with Zarbon, because she's a controlling bitch, what if she could control Shasha to the point where he would stop raping innocent girls!" Kiwi said.

"That's not going to work Kiwi; she never forgave him for killing her mother." Apple said.

"Let's try and see, please? Don't' you want Zarbon to be happy, he seems so miserable with a bitch like Liya!" Kiwi said.

Apple thought about it for a second, "Ok let's do it, but only because I can't stand to hear anymore bickering false jealousies from her in front of us!" Apple said.

Zarbon caught up with Vegeta, "Stop following me asshole!" Vegeta yelled.

"Vegeta I'm sorry I didn't know that was going to happen!" Zarbon said.

"You did to you just took me over to that table to humiliate me!" Vegeta said.

"No I didn't I just wanted you to have friends other than Nappa and Raddiz is all, but I guess my group wasn't the right group." Zarbon said.

"What's the matter with your girlfriend she's a psycho!" Vegeta said.

"I know that Liya is a psychotic bitch, I'm just too afraid to break up with her!" Zarbon yelled.

"Damn zippy, I had no idea your temper was so out there." Vegeta said.

"I'll think up a better group for you to try to get to know." Zarbon said.

Later on in his room, Zarbon thought and then asked his telepathic cat Blacky, "Blacky do you think Vegeta would do better with Shasha and Dodoria?" Zarbon asked.

"I think not, after all Shasha supposedly stole Miretta from Vegeta, and Dodoria is much to the dismay of Vegeta." Blacky said.

"Hum you got a point! I have a better idea, how about we bribe Dodoria and Shasha to befriend Vegeta, then…" Blacky interrupted Zarbon.

"Sorry not going to work, try something else." Blacky thought licking his paw.

"Uh I'm out of options!" Zarbon said depressed. All the sudden the phone rang, and Zarbon picked it up, "Hello Zarbon speaking." Zarbon said.

"Zarbon dude! How have you been, I haven't talked to you in over a week! Why aren't you substituting the classes for Captain Ginyu like you always do?" Jeice asked on the other end.

"Because I'm not really needed is all and…" Then Zarbon thought for a moment, "Hey Jeice I have a question to ask you, do you know anyone that would love to try out for the Ginyu Force?" Zarbon asked.

"No why turquoises dude?" Jeice asked.

"Because I know someone who might be interested," Zarbon said.

A day later, Vegeta and Zarbon were sitting down in front of Captain Ginyu in his office, Ginyu was examining him, "So you think that this little fellow would be a good Ginyuteer?" the captain asked.

"Ginyuteer, is that even a word?" Zarbon asked.

"It was recently made up by yours truly!" Captain Ginyu said.

"Here I'll give you some files on what he can do," Zarbon gave a manila folder to Ginyu and Ginyu inspected it.

"Let's see Vegeta, it says that you can transform into a giant monkey when the full moon is out, so you're a child of the moon?" Ginyu asked.

"That's right sir," Vegeta said proudly smiling.

"It also says that you can throw fireballs and do back flips really well and that your flying skills are excellent." Ginyu said.

"Thanks I know that already, nothing I can't handle." Vegeta said.

"Don't get cocky, let's see where we can fit you in, I think you're going to like it here!" Ginyu said.

"I hope so sir," Vegeta said.

A day later, Vegeta was standing next to Jeice and Burter, and then Captain Ginyu walked out of the school and walked up to them, "Let's do our greeting! Hands on your head!" Ginyu said.

"Oh are we going to shoot fireballs up into the air?" Vegeta asked.

"Actually we're going to sing the pledge and hop on one foot," Burter said.

"The pledge?" Vegeta asked raising an eyebrow.

"Let's begin troops!" Ginyu said.

Everyone then started hopping on one foot with their hands on their head, "We love Ginyu and he loves us! If that weren't true he wouldn't have our trust! We love Freezer; he's the mightiest thing around, for he is the one that wears the crown! We serve to live and live to serve, therefore we get everything that we deserve! We love our leader, our captain and our school, because all that's according to the rule!" They sang.

Vegeta blushed a deep crimson, "Uh boy, what rule is the song talking about?" Vegeta asked.

"We don't know, Ginyu is the one that made it up," Jeice said.

Vegeta walked up to Ginyu, "Excuse me but may I please change the lyrics?" Vegeta asked.

"Why?" Ginyu asked.

"Because this song is so retarded!" Vegeta yelled.

"Get back in line weakling or else I'm going to tell Freezer on you!" Captain Ginyu said.

Vegeta glared at Ginyu, "Right," Then he went back in line.

Later that night, Vegeta snuck into Captain Ginyu's office, he spied on him changing the lyrics, "God damn it! Stupid Vegeta he hurt my feelings!" The captain said trying to write some more lyrics out, then he gave up and went to bed, when that happened Vegeta went up to the table and threw the lyrics out.

"Nope this time we won't be singing the lyrics to Captain Ginyu nor Freezer," Vegeta said shaking his head, he got out his pocket dictionary, because he had a hard time writing and started to write whatever he could, he learned how to read when he was just sixteen at least.

That night Shasha was in Kiwi's room with Kiwi and Apple sitting on the bed, "Here is how you're going to steal Liya away from Zarbon, first of all you're going to knock on her door, then you're going to sweep her off her feet and say, "I love you darling, come to papa!"" Kiwi said.

"That's stupid Kiwi, I think in order to get a girl to like you enough to sleep with you is being sensitive." Apple said.

"You mean like this. Darling I have raped many pretty women, but you're the one that tops them all!" Shasha said.

Apple slapped his hand on his head; this dim-witted rapist was so stupid he thought he could associate rape with sensitivity, "This guy needs to be put in prison." Apple said.

"No Shasha I know you're a brutal rapist, but you can't just mention your rape victims or else she won't like you enough to get you into bed with her." Kiwi said.

"Why not? Men are supposed to control women!" Shasha said.

Kiwi rolled his eyes, "Well that's not what I was taught, I grew up in an orphanage, and I never knew my parents. Surely your mother didn't teach you to be this unkind to women." Kiwi said.

"She's the one that gave me this scar, and she is one that I killed in order to get away from her!" Shasha said.

"Maybe he does belong here after all," Apple said.

"Now you know why Freezer keeps him around Apple, now let's try again, and this time be a little more sensitive," Kiwi said.

"Dear Liya I'm sorry that I didn't rape such beautiful woman like you earlier!" Shasha said.

"We're going to be here all night aren't we?" Apple asked.

"Yes Apple, until he gets it right." Kiwi said.

Zarbon came into Kiwi's room, "Hey Kiwi can I borrow your nightshade, I lost mine again." Zarbon said.

"How is it that you keep on losing your things Zarbon?" Kiwi asked.

"The spirits keep sneaking into my room and keep moving my stuff." Zarbon said.

"See this is what you get for being a sorcerer!" Kiwi said.

Zarbon then looked at Shasha, "What is he doing here?" He asked glaring at him.

"None of your business little primal changeling," Shasha said.

"Kiwi what is Shasha doing here?" Zarbon asked.

"He just needs some guy advice is all, he's not hurting anyone." Kiwi said.

"Advice on what?" Zarbon asked.

Kiwi then made a lie up quickly, "On how to be more sensitive to women." He smiled.

"Well tell him to be more kind to my sister!" Zarbon then walked out of the room.

"He didn't even get to borrow your night shade!" Apple said.

"Oh shut up Apple!" Kiwi said.

The next morning, Vegeta was pacing back and forth in front of the rest of the Ginyu Force, they wondered why he got them up so early in the morning for, "Ok comrades, it has been brought to my attention that Ginyu gave me the lyrics to the new pledge." Vegeta said.

"How come Captain Ginyu isn't telling us this himself?" Tina asked.

"Because he trusts me more than anyone else here!" Vegeta said.

"How do we know that you're not lying to us?" Jeice asked.

"I made photo copies of the lyrics on paper; I suggest that when we rehearse this, you do it no matter what." Vegeta said.

"Ok but only if Captain Ginyu said it," Burter said.

As they looked at the new lyrics, Vegeta tried not to smile, he was laughing in his head, "Oh boy what a bunch of dodo brains! They actually think that Captain Ginyu wrote this song!" Vegeta said.

"Hey these lyrics are trashy!" Guldo said.

"Yah usually Captain Ginyu's handwriting is better than this, it looks like a first grader wrote this!" Tina said.

"Yah is this some kind of joke?" Jeice asked.

"Duh… is this the new pledge song? I like the old one better!" Recoome said.

"That's enough, you need to rehearse now, I'll sing and you'll repeat after me, we have to learn this by the time Captain Ginyu shows up! Let's begin!" Vegeta said.

Later on Captain Ginyu showed up, "Vegeta I heard some talking and singing out here, what is going on?" Captain Ginyu asked.

"Vegeta has been teaching us the new pledge that you wrote last night!" Jeice said.

"Is that true Vegeta?" Ginyu asked.

"It's true; I thought a man of your genius deserved some respect so I taught them how to sing the song." Vegeta said.

"This is so great what did you think about the new pledge that I written?" Ginyu asked.

"Well, it's different I'll give you that." Burter said.

"Let's sing this pledge to Freezer!" Ginyu said.

Vegeta's eyes grew wide, "Oh shit I'm in trouble now!" he thought. "Actually sir that's a bad idea!" Vegeta said.

"You know the rules; each time a new pledge is made up it must be approved by Freezer himself." Ginyu said.

"No, no you can't do that!" Vegeta said.

"But you said that we had to sing the new pledge no matter what." Tina said.

"Yah so of course we're going to sing it!" Jeice said.

"This is supposed to be a low level military school, not a choir school." Vegeta thought.

Meanwhile Shasha was at Liya's door, and he had a nice suit on and a bouquet of flowers, he knocked on the door while Kiwi and Apple were hidden behind the corner, "I'm telling you this isn't going to work!" Apple said.

"Relax I know exactly what I'm doing." Kiwi said.

Liya opened the door; Shasha grabbed her and held her in his arms, "Oh Liya my darling, you smell softly like a fresh winter's day like on my home planet Cyrillic!" Shasha said.

"Ew you're gross!" Liya slapped him in the face and went back into her room.

"I told you it wouldn't work, time for plan B." Apple said.

Later that morning, Shasha was waiting for Liya with an Apple in his hand, Apple and Kiwi sat at the table watching him, "Oh boy this looks like it could work." Kiwi said snorting.

"Relax it's much better than your plan!" Apple said.

"Here she comes, look away!" Kiwi said putting the newspaper up to his face with Apple reading it too.

Shasha went up to Liya, "Hello Liya I got you an apple, would you like me to join you for lunch?" Shasha asked.

"No thank you," She said sticking her nose up into the air like the snob, she was.

"I'm sorry about earlier, it's just I've been thinking, I'm sorry I killed your mother when I kidnapped you from your home planet, on the bright side at least I didn't violate her." Shasha said.

Liya frowned at him again, walked off, and sat at the table with Kiwi and Apple, "Where is Zarbon I want to know where he is!" Liya said, she then held up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, "I got him his favorite kind of sandwich, peanut butter and jelly." Liya said.

"He went with Freezer to see the Ginyu Force sing the new pledge that Captain Ginyu just wrote," Apple said.

"Uh don't even mention them," Liya said eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Damn I need to think of another plan!" Kiwi thought to himself.

"Yah it better be a good one this time." Apple said.

Kiwi turned his head towards Apple, "You can read my thoughts?" he asked in his thoughts.

"Duh, we're aliens remember?" Apple thought.

"But Freezer forbids telepathy abilities, he'll have us executed if we are caught using them." Kiwi thought.

Liya looked up at Kiwi and Apple looking at one another, "What are you doing staring at one another?" she asked.

"It's nothing," Kiwi said.

Later on, Freezer came to the Ginyu School with Zarbon, all the Ginyu Force loved Zarbon, and he was like a second father to them, besides Captain Ginyu. Although he was more like a big brother to them also, just because he could give them advice about various stuff when they were too afraid to ask Captain Ginyu.

"Let's start singing guys!" Ginyu said.

"Are you sure captain you might want to edit your lyrics because it looks like you were having a nervous breakdown while you wrote them." Jeice said.

"Nonsense Jeice, by the way, where did Vegeta go?" Captain Ginyu asked.

"He said he was too sick to come along," Tina said.

"What a drama queen, oh well let's start without him!" Ginyu said.

They started to sing, "Vegeta is our leader, not that stupid Freezer! Ginyu is a pussy and is way too pushy! Vegeta is our leader and he's so much sweeter! He's handsome and he's smart, and all Ginyu does is fart! Freezer is so vile as a crocodile! Freezer is a girl and Ginyu is a squirrel!" They sang.

"Stop, stop, stop! That's enough!" Freezer yelled. They all stopped singing; Freezer looked at Ginyu, "What the hell was that? Were you smoking weed when you wrote this song?" Freezer asked.

"This isn't the song I wrote Freezer!" Captain Ginyu said.

Zarbon tried not to laugh, but he could not hold it in any longer, so he fell down laughing, he had not laughed this hard in a long time, "Ginyu I never thought you were so tasteless!" he said.

"I didn't write this song!" Ginyu said.

"Then who did?" Freezer asked.

"I have no idea who wrote it!" Ginyu said.

Zarbon stopped laughing when he realized that his friend Ginyu might face execution, he stood up, "I think I might know who wrote it…" Freezer interrupted Zarbon.

"Shut up Zarbon! Ginyu you are fired!" Freezer yelled.

"You can't fire me; you don't have anyone else that knows how to work with young people!" Ginyu said.

"I'll find someone eventually!" Freezer said.

"Uh damn you destiny!" Ginyu said.

"Uh I can't believe Ginyu would write such tasteless things!" Freezer said.

"I know who wrote it Freezer, it's too obvious that Veg…." Freezer interrupted Zarbon again.

"I'm too pissed off to hear your tattling Zarbon! You will be punished greatly for this!" Freezer said.

"What did I do?" Zarbon asked.

"You dare to disagree with me that Captain Ginyu wrote those tasteless lyrics!" Freezer said.

"Sir he might be stupid and childish, but he's not that insensitive nor is he that mean!" Zarbon said.

"You will face the worst punishment that I can think of!" Freezer said.

"Don't tell me, the chopping block?" Zarbon asked.

"Even worst," Freezer said.

"The whip?" Zarbon asked.

"Even worse than the whip," Freezer said.

"I'm grounded?" Zarbon asked.

Only God knew what punishment awaited Zarbon, he looked afraid and so did the whole Ginyu Force.

End of Part 1


	5. Chapter 5

_Vegeta Joins the Ginyu Force, part 2_

The next day, the Ginyu Force were told to go outside to do warm-ups and exercises as usual, they were worried, after all Vegeta got Captain Ginyu fired and may have gotten Zarbon into great trouble, "I wonder what happened to Zarbon?" Tina asked.

"We don't know because someone may have gotten Zarbon secretly executed!" Jeice said angrily looking at Vegeta.

"What? I didn't like him anyways." Vegeta said.

"Zarbon tried to help you make new friends besides those brutal Sayains that you hang out with all the time! This is how you repay him? You also got the Captain fired; we might get someone much meaner and stupid thanks to you Vegeta!" Burter said.

"Yah Zarbon was like a father to us, but he was more like a brother to me!" Recoome said.

"Yah it's your fault Vegeta!" Jeice said.

"Thanks I'm faltered!" Vegeta said smiling evilly.

"I hate to see the big ugly meanee that Freezer picked as a replacement!" Guldo said.

"You don't have to worry about that!" the Ginyu Force turned around; it was Zarbon with a clipboard.

"Zarbon we thought you were dead!" Jeice said running over to him and hugging him the rest of the squad did the same thing, except for Vegeta, which was no surprise.

"Oh son of a bitch!" Vegeta yelled angrily.

"What are you doing here?" Jeice asked.

"Freezer said that I was going to replace Ginyu until he finds a proper replacement." Zarbon said.

"Why can't you be our captain always?" Tina asked.

"Because Tina, Freezer is an asshole and I am just a slave," Zarbon said.

"Oh please you're his heir to the throne, why couldn't I have replaced Captain Ginyu? This is all wrong!" Vegeta said pouting.

"Come on let's get started!" Zarbon said.

"No, no, no! This is all wrong! Zippy is too much of a glamour-puss to be prancing around in Sayain uniform!" Vegeta said.

"You're wrong Vegeta, just because I like the way I look doesn't mean I'm afraid to get scratched or dirty, it's all a part of the job!" Zarbon said smiling.

"So are we going to say the pledge?" Jeice asked.

"I'd rather not, because unlike Ginyu I'm not very fond of looking like an idiot, although I'm pretty sure that he has a way with you kids that I could never have." Zarbon said.

"Oh thank god, I hate doing the Ginyu pledge!" Jeice said.

"The exercises are twice as retarded! I hate the pledge too." Tina said looking at Jeice all googly eyed.

"Oh please you're such an asshole Zarbon!" Vegeta said.

"Vegeta you're supposed to be making friends, so why don't we just pair up! There are five of you, so I want each of you to find a partner to practice your combat skills with." Zarbon said.

They all looked at Vegeta, "No way we can't do that!" Jeice said shaking his head.

"Why not?" Zarbon asked.

"Because…Ginyu doesn't usually make us do that!" Jeice said.

"Yah right, he has it listed down on the clipboard after you sing the pledge." Zarbon said smiling.

"Damn! He's smarter than I thought!" Tina said.

"Oh please, all zippy ever does is have a cow each time he gets a pimple!" Vegeta said.

Zarbon frowned, "Well let's get started!"

"I get Jeice!" Tina said hugging Jeice tightly.

"Ew Tina, don't like you! Although better you than Vegeta!" Jeice said.

"Hey that's so not true; she wishes she would team up with me!" Vegeta said laughing and blowing Tina a kiss.

"Ew go fuck yourself Vegeta!" Tina said.

"Tina watch your language please!" Zarbon said.

"I'm paring up with Guldo!" Burter said picking Guldo up and hugging him.

"It's all right Burter, you're safe now from Vegeta!" Guldo said.

"Man!" Vegeta said

"Looks like it's just you and Recoome," Zarbon said.

"Duh do I have to work with Vegeta?" Recoome asked scratching his head.

"Yes you do, otherwise how else are you going to learn anything?" Zarbon asked.

"You can't pair me up with this retard!" Vegeta said spitting on the ground.

"Oh would you rather pair up with me then?" Zarbon asked smiling at Vegeta.

"No thanks! Come on Recoome, let's go do those exercises!" Vegeta said.

Later on at lunchtime back at the palace, Liya was crying a lot Kiwi and Apple were sitting at the table with her, "Don't be so upset, think of it as a promotion for Zarbon." Kiwi said.

"Why does he love those kids more than me? What does he have against me?" Liya asked.

"He doesn't hate you! Uh you're so dumb!" Kiwi said.

"Do I have to slap you Kiwi?" Liya asked.

"Damn Liya you're such a bitch!" Kiwi said.

Then Shasha came and sat down next to Liya, "Hello Liya how are you doing?" Shasha asked.

"Shasha I'm interested in fucking you anytime ever!" Liya said.

"But Liya you might reconsider when I play this romantic song for you, it's from Soviet Union." Shasha then got the radio and put it on the table and turned it on, it was playing the Russian version of _Moscow Nights_.

"How come we can't understand what its saying?" Kiwi asked.

"Because it's in Russian," Shasha said.

"That does it!" Liya grabbed the radio and threw it across the room, in which it broke.

"Hey that was such a pretty song!" Apple said.

"Please have sex with me Liya, I'm begging you!" Shasha said.

Liya smiled, "Anything?" She asked.

"Anything!" Shasha said.

"Hum I'll have to think about that one." Liya said smiling.

Later on Vegeta was practicing with Recoome and getting annoyed by Recoome's stupidity, "Uh are you a fucken retard or something?" Vegeta asked.

"That's not a nice word," Recoome said.

"Says whom?" Vegeta asked.

"Says Zarbon!" Recoome said.

"Uh I hate him!" Vegeta then went up to Recoome with rage and beat the living tar out of him and Recoome started crying.

"You're mean Vegeta!" Recoome said.

"Stupid retard!" Vegeta said.

All the sudden Jeice ran over to Recoome who was still crying, "What's the matter Recoome?" Jeice asked.

"Vegeta called me a retard!" Recoome said.

"What's wrong with that, we call you retard all the time!" Jeice said.

"Yes but he said it in a mean way!" Recoome said.

"How could you pick on poor Recoome, it's not his fault that he's retarded! How would you like to be picked on for being retarded?" Jeice asked.

"I don't care; I'm not a retard, ha ha." Vegeta said.

Jeice then got so mad that Vegeta was being mean to poor Recoome, that he pushed him, "Take that asshole!" Jeice said.

"How dare you push the prince of Sayains!" Vegeta said, pushing Jeice back.

"Monkey tail!" Jeice said.

"Monkey tail that's funny!" Recoome said laughing like a dimwit.

"Hey guys I've noticed something that I've never noticed before!" Jeice said.

Burter, Tina and Guldo all came over, "What Jeice?" Tina asked thinking that he was going to confess his secret love for her.

"Vegeta has a monkey tail!" Jeice said and they all started laughing.

"Stop it!" Vegeta yelled.

Zarbon turned to look at Vegeta, "Monkey tail! Monkey tail!" The Ginyu Force all said to Vegeta.

Zarbon then had a flashback of when he was a fat little kid walking down the hallway eating a donut and Dodoria pushed him to the floor, "Hey beauty and beast, what's up?" Dodoria asked.

"Leave me alone Dodoria!" Zarbon said.

"Shasha told me that you don't like to transform because your other form is so ugly!" Dodoria said.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Zarbon said.

"You won't accept the fact that your species are freaks of nature!" Dodoria said.

"No that's not true! My species are special!" Zarbon said.

"Yah as in retarded special!" Dodoria said, and then he noticed that Zarbon's donut was on the floor, "Are you going to eat that?" Dodoria asked picking the donut up.

"That's my donut!" Zarbon said.

"You'll get fat if you eat too many sweets, oh wait you are a chubby fucker!" Dodoria said laughing as he ate Zarbon's donut.

"Stop it leave me alone!" Zarbon said crying.

Zarbon then let that flashback go, frowned and went over to the Ginyu Force, "Why are you picking on Vegeta?" Zarbon asked.

"Because he has a monkey tail!" Jeice said.

Zarbon looked at Vegeta's swinging tail, "Oh and you just noticed that?" Zarbon asked sarcastically.

"It wasn't our fault, Vegeta started it!" Burter said.

"Look I know that most of the Sayains are extinct, but be nice to him, or if you can't be nice to him don't say anything to him at all." Zarbon then walked away.

Vegeta then thought to himself, "Yes I'll keep on getting them into trouble and have Zarbon think that I'm a victim!"

Meanwhile at Liya's place, Shasha was cleaning up for Liya wearing a maid outfit, Kiwi and Apple could not stop laughing, "Damn Shasha you would do anything to get laid by Liya!" Kiwi said.

"Shut up Kiwi!" Shasha said.

"That's right now please mop my kitchen it's really dirty!" Liya said drinking Apple martini.

"Yes Liya," Shasha said.

"That's Miss Liya to you!" Liya said chuckling.

"Liya I know that I hate Shasha's guts, but aren't you being a little harsh with him?" Apple asked.

"Hell no, he killed my mother and he beats Zarbon's sister, and he rapes women on his missions. Why should I show him any pity?" Liya asked drinking down her apple Martini.

"Because you're not going to be a better person once he gets done being taken advantage of by you. Instead you'll look like an even bigger jerk than him." Apple said.

"Whatever do you mean?" Liya asked.

"In other words, he's going to get pissed off and either give up or he's going to rape you, you should be careful." Apple said.

"I don't care I'm enjoying his misery!" Liya said laughing.

"Yah Apple don't be such a goody tushu, besides Shasha hates us, why do we care if he suffers?" Kiwi asked.

Apple sighed, "Zarbon wouldn't have done such a thing and he hates Shasha," Apple said.

"Zarbon isn't even allowed to have sex with other people, Freezer said so!" Liya said.

"Besides, Zarbon is babysitting the Ginyu Force, what do we care if he's more compassionate or not?" Kiwi asked.

"You don't get it, all this guy knows is violence and raping helpless women, he's not going to get better! You can't soften him up, he just wants to have sex with you and if that happens he might come back and ask for more!" Apple said.

"Do you think he could get any worse?" Liya asked sneering at Apple and Kiwi did the same thing.

"Liya karma will come back to you very badly if you continue to treat him like trash, yes it's true that he killed your mother, but you're no better humiliating him just because he wants to have sex with you!" Apple said.

"Don't make me laugh Apple! Hey Commie, make me some more martini!" Liya said laughing.

"Yah make me some more too!" Kiwi said.

"Yes your highness!" Shasha said going to the kitchen making a martini for Liya.

"Oh and make Kiwi one too!" Liya said laughing.

"Yah make that two Commie!" Kiwi said.

"You two are just as disgusting as Shasha!" Apple walked into the kitchen, "Shasha she's just humiliating you, I think this will go on until maybe one of you die." Apple said.

"No little alien, I must do it! I want to have sex with her!" Shasha said.

"But she's taking advantage of you, maybe what you should have done was rape her to begin with like the lustful rapist that you are!" Apple said.

"Wow did that just come out of your mouth? I thought you were goody tushu." Shasha said.

"I most certainly am not! " Apple said.

"Besides Freezer said I wasn't allowed to rape her, he said he would have me beheaded if I raped her." Shasha said.

"Well serves you right for picking on poor helpless women! Oh what am I kidding, you should be having sex with your wife, not a bitch like Liya, trust me she did the same thing to Kiwi and he never got any sex from her, she just took advantage of him until he gave up." Apple said.

"What do you mean?" Shasha asked.

"You didn't hear? Kiwi tried to have sex with Liya after she broke it off with Zarbon, but she said she would only do it if he did chores for her." Apple said.

"And?" Shasha asked.

"And it never happened; this went on for about a year! You don't have to do this, you can make amends by turning to good to live your life like I do and…" Apple said.

"Oh Apple you are such hypocrite! I need to get these drinks to the princess over there, out of my way little alien!" then Shasha pushed him to the floor.

"Fine get rejected see if I care, I'm going back to my room these people are fricken nuts!" Apple then marched out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

"What's the matter with Apple?" Liya asked.

"He's a gentleman he doesn't like to see women or men get taken advantage of!" Kiwi said laughing.

In the bedroom at the Ginyu Campus, everyone was asleep except for Vegeta he got up and ran to Zarbon's room and knocked on the door, "Vegeta you better have a good reason for this!" Zarbon said.

Vegeta then started crying, "Ouch oh ouch! My tail I think it's broken!" Vegeta said trying not to move it.

"What happened?" Zarbon asked.

"I was minding my own business trying to read, since I still don't know how to read, and Jeice and his friends ganged up on me, and they started beating the shit out of me! And, and they pulled my tail and I heard and felt a crack!" Vegeta said.

"Don't worry Vegeta I'll get you away from these horrible children!" Zarbon said picking Vegeta up. He then went to the bedroom and broke the door down, "All right which one of you did it?" Zarbon asked.

"Zarbon we like you and all, but it's in the middle of the night!" Jeice said with a nightshade on.

"Yah I'm tired!" Recoome said.

"Someone here broke Vegeta's tail, who did it?" Zarbon asked.

"What, are you sure he didn't sleep on it funny?" Tina asked.

"No he didn't, did you Vegeta?" Zarbon asked.

"No they broke my tail!" Vegeta said.

Zarbon then thought to himself that maybe Vegeta was lying this time, "Vegeta could you do me a big favor?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes Zarbon?" Vegeta asked.

"Could you please move your tail for me?" Zarbon asked.

"I can't its broken!" Vegeta said.

Zarbon raised an eyebrow, "I'll just take you to the doctor and see what he says." Zarbon said taking Vegeta out of the room.

"Uh that little twerp, he's going to keep on getting us into trouble isn't he?" Tina asked.

"I don't think Zarbon is that stupid," Burter said.

Zarbon took Vegeta to the doctor in the middle of the night, and the doctor examined his tail. "I'm sorry to say, but it's a false alarm," he said.

"You mean?"

"Yes his tail is fine, maybe it's something else, does he suffer from hallucinations by any chance?" The doctor asked.

"I have no idea!" Zarbon said.

"Doctor why do you look like you have three eyes?" Vegeta asked.

"I'm going to prescribe some medicine for him to help with his hallucinations and dilutions." The doctor said.

"That sounds great doctor," Zarbon said.

Then Vegeta's eyes grew wide, "Damn it backfired again!" he thought.

"In the mean time, keep the other kids away from him, they will only add to his delusions." The doctor said.

Later that night, Kiwi was drunk with Liya while Shasha was in a tutu that Liya wore for her ballet recital, twelve years ago, "He can't fit into the tutu!" Kiwi said laughing.

"Yah because he's fat!" Liya said laughing, although Shasha was taller than both of them and he was muscular, not even close to being fat.

"Do a pirouette Shasha!" Liya said laughing.

"You know what I'm done here! You have been humiliating me for the last few hours! What is the matter with you?" Shasha asked as he ripped the tutu off, threw it to the ground and got his pants back on.

"You can't leave you didn't even make me another martini!" Liya said.

"You don't need another martini! You need help!" Shasha said slamming the door shut behind him as he went out.

"Come back Shasha!" Liya said.

"Damn the plan didn't work!" Kiwi said.

"What plan?" Liya asked.

"Who do you think helped Shasha try to seduce you so that you could break it off with Zarbon?" Kiwi asked.

"You idiot!" Liya said.

"Liya you are an obsessive girlfriend, leave Zarbon alone, he's an adult now!" Kiwi said.

"He needs his woman more than his friends!" Liya said.

"He doesn't need a ditz like you! You need someone more good looking than me!" Kiwi said.

"What are you saying?" Liya asked.

"Liya I think you're the bitchiest person on the planet, but at the same time I think I'm in love with you too!" Kiwi said.

"Ah ha! So that's why you tried to break us up!" Liya said.

"Actually the real reason was because he could do much better than you!" Kiwi said.

"Well do you love me or hate me?" Liya asked.

"Both! It's possible to love and hate someone at the same time!" Kiwi said.

"Oh Kiwi I don't know how to tell you this, but I've been thinking about you too!" Liya said.

"You have?" Kiwi asked.

"Yes let's have sex right now fish breath!" Liya said.

"Ok that's fine with me!" Kiwi grabbed her and kissed her on the lips sloppy, "Wait I can't do that to Zarbon!" Kiwi said pushing her to the ground and running out of her room.

"Wait come back, have another martini!" Liya yelled slurring her words.

A week later, the Ginyu Force got their leader back, Zarbon somehow convinced Freezer to let Captain Ginyu back onto the squad, "I'm so glad to be back!" Ginyu said.

"We're glad you're back too!" Jeice said.

"I miss Zarbon though," Tina said.

"Me too!" Jeice said.

Meanwhile in the cafeteria, Liya was sitting next to Apple, and Apple would not look at her, he was still mad at her for trying to manipulate Shasha into cleaning her room and being her servant, "Aren't you going to talk to me?" Liya asked.

"I have nothing to say," Apple said taking a plastic spoon and stirring it into his chicken soup.

Kiwi came and sat down next to Liya, "Hello Liya," Kiwi said.

"Hello Kiwi, I'm so sorry about last week, I haven't talk to you in about a…" Kiwi interrupted Liya.

"Look Liya stop apologizing, apologize to Shasha!" Kiwi said.

"Do I have to?" Liya asked.

"If you don't I'll…" Shasha interrupted.

"Look you don't have to apologize; I'm not going to be asshole for once and try to avoid you as long as I live!" Shasha said as he walked up behind Kiwi.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Liya asked.

"Yes for once I see why you hate me, "Shasha then walked away with his tray and sat down next to Dodoria.

"What was that all about?" Zarbon asked.

"Beats me?" Kiwi said drinking his coffee.

Meanwhile back at the Ginyu Force, Vegeta arrives and stomps up to Captain Ginyu, "Ginyu I have a confession to make! I quit!" Vegeta said.

"Ok go home then!" Ginyu said.

"What? Just like that? You won't even say goodbye or beg me to stay?" Vegeta asked.

"No way Jose! If you don't want to be a part of this inspirational team of Ginyuteers, then you need to hit the road!" Ginyu said crossing his arms.

Vegeta looked at the Ginyu Squad, inspirational his butt, all he saw were a bunch of sissy, lunatic dumb dumbs that listened too much to the bad instructions that their captain gave to them.

"Ok goodbye!" Vegeta then walked off.

"Now that the weakest link is gone, who wants to lead us in the pledge?" Ginyu asked.

Jeice raised his hand, "Which one, the older one or the more recent Vegeta one?" Jeice asked.

"Uh this isn't going to go well is it?" Ginyu asked.

End of Story


	6. Chapter 6

_How to be Cool_

**Scene 1**

At the Ginue Force Campus, outside, we see Jeice and Burter doing stupid exercises, they're now striking a "Ginue Pose".

Burter: How long do we have to keep on doing these exercises?

Jeice: I don't know dude! Man , how come the chicks don't dig us?

Burter: Probably because we're such geeks! I mean look at us! We'll never get a chick doing these exercises! Wait what about Tina?

Jeice: She's not a chick, she's so plain!

Burter: Look here comes one now! (A beautiful Changeling with sexy legs and high heal shoes is walking on by)

Jeice: Wow, Katrina dude!

Burter: I'll walk over to her and say hi.

Jeice: Not if I get there first! (Scups up a bouquet of flowers and walks over to her and clears his throat and deepens his voice) Hey Katrina, I got you some flowers! (Shows her the flowers)

Katrina: (Grabs the flowers and throws them away) Get lost Jeice! (Has maybe a Swedish accent)

Burter: Hey Katrina you look sexy today! (Blushes a little)

Katrina: (Pushes Burter into a bush) Oh shut up Burter!

Burter: (Gets up) I love her!

Jeice: Dude she just pushed you into a bush! (All the sudden, the tall, turquoise, and handsome Zarbon comes walking towards them) Oh look Burter here comes Zarbon! (Points to him)

Burter: I love him!

Jeice: You're gay?

Burter: No I mean I look up to him!

Katrina: Zarbon? God he's so handsome! If only you two were more like him! (Runs over to Zarbon and then trips) Ouch I twisted my ankle! (Limps over to him) Hello Zarbon! (She blushes a little as of any other girl around him would)

Zarbon: (His smile fades and he puts on a serious face) Hello Katrina.

Katrina: Do you want to go on a date sometime?

Zarbon: No thanks. (Starts to walk away)

Katrina: (Runs after him and twists her other ankle) God I hate running in these! Zarbon wait! I love your hair, and you have the prettiest eyes!

Zarbon: (Stops and looks at her funny) Look I don't mean to be snotty, but no means no! I do have one question though, has anyone ever rejected you?

Katrina: No, any man would love go get their hands on me.

Zarbon: Oh would they? Well not this man! I have much better things to do then go out with an insensitive bitch like you. Besides, I see that you rejected my friends over there, for me! You just like me because I'm good looking! (Smiles) You know what they say, what goes around comes around. (Walks away)

Katrina: But Zarbon I can change! (Runs after him, but falls down) Ouch I broke my ankle! Jeice, Burter help me!

Jeice: In your dreams bitch! (He and Burter run over to Zarbon) Zarbon wait! (He and Burter catch up) We need to talk to you!

Zarbon: (Stops walking) All right what do you want?

Burter: We're friends aren't we?

Zarbon: Of course we are silly.

Jeice: How did you do that?

Burter: Yah its like you put a curse on her!

Zarbon: It happens by accident sometimes.

Jeice: No not that! I mean how did you get her to notice you? We want to be cool like you dude!

Zarbon: Simple, if you're handsome like me, and have an amazing foreign accent then you'll do just fine.

Jeice: I have an accent similar to yours, except it's a bit more….

Zarbon: Close enough, ok first of all, your charm needs some work on. Second you can't be showing off by trying to be cool, it'll come to you sooner. Third, brace yourselves, a little advice on the chicks.

Jeice and Burter: Chicks!

Zarbon: I would suggest that you don't for little bitches like Katrina, you need to just try to make a woman feel good about herself. I mean I've had ugly girlfriends and pretty ones too, didn't like them enough to have sex with them.

Jeice: But shagging them is the best part!

Burter: How come you won't shag them?  
Zarbon: Well that's for me to know and you to never find out! Besides I'm waiting paciently for the right person to come along.

Jeice: Well I won't wait!

Zarbon: Ok come with me when your class is over.

Jeice: It is over.

Burter: Where to?

Zarbon: Just come with me.

**Scene 2**

They're at Zarbon's quarters, and they're just standing there confused.

Jeice: So what are we doing here?

Burter: Yah this is boring!

Zarbon: (Comes out with a flat iron and some sharp looking shirts) Surprise I'm going to give you both a makeover!

Jeice: Oh no you're kidding right?

Zarbon: Lets get started now! You first Burter! (He grabs him by the arm and he puts some cologne on him, which makes Burter sneeze) If you want to impress the ladies, then you can't be sneezing from your cologne! (Later Zarbon stands in front of the bathroom) Presenting to you the new Burter! (Burter comes out from behind the bathroom door and walks in front of Zarbon with a stripped pink and black shirt on )

Jeice: I had no idea you liked the color pink, Burter! (Laughs)

Zarbon: I wouldn't be laughing just quite yet you're next!

Jeice: Oh boy!

Zarbon: (Grabs Jeice by the arm and starts straightening his hair) Hold still so I don't burn your ears off!

Jeice: I can't I don't like to bursh my hair or straighten it! (The iron goes onto his ear) Ouch!

Zarbon: I told you to hold still, you are just as stubborn as Burter, but then again, Burter doesn't have impossibly thick hair like you do! (Later once again Zarbon stands in front of the bathroom door) Presenting the new improved Jeice!

Jeice: (Is wearing a light blue shirt with hearts on it, and tight pants that look kind of big on him) God Zarbon are you gay or something?

Zarbon: I'm not gay, I'm bi!

Burter: You look just as stupid as I do! (Laughs)

Jeice: Oh yah I'll show you! (They get into a fight and start beating each other up)

Zarbon: Guys please don't fight, you won't get any women fighting like that! Oh why me?

**Scene 3**

In the evening Zarbon, who looks better them has his hair in curls and put back into a ponytail, he's not wearing his forehead crown, but he does have tight pants on and he has a cool jacket on covering his orange shirt. Zarbon, Jeice and Burter are standing in line and its their turn.

Bouncer: (Looking at Zarbon) Very muscular, very handsome, you're in!

Zarbon: Thanks! (Walks in)

Bouncer: (Looks at Jeice) Too short, too geeky, go home! (He then looks at Burter) Too tall, to anorexic, get lost!

Jeice: Just let us in, I can't believe that Zarbon dressed me in this too colorful outfit and I don't get to go in!

Burter: Maybe if we do our "Ginue Poses" we'll get it!

Jeice: No forget it Jeice!

Zarbon: (Comes out) Guys why aren't you in the club?

Burter: The bouncer won't let us in!

Zarbon: I don't understand, you guys look so cool! Are you telling me he's criticizing my fashion sense!

Burter: No you fool, he thinks we're losers!

Zarbon: Are you calling my friends losers? Just let them in or I'll get Freezer to blast your guts out! I mean it I'll really tattle on you!

Jeice: Wow I've never knew that Zarbon was so hard core!

Bouncer: Ok ok, fine just go in guys!

Zarbon: Thank you! (They walk on in)

**Scene 4**

Inside the club, there is dance music playing, and Zarbon, Jeice and Burter are sitting at the bar.

Burter: Wow this is so cool! I've never been into a dance club before!

Jeice: Me either!

Burter: And I'm still a virgin!

Zarbon: We didn't need to know that, this is both of your first times in a dance club? Where have you been under a rock?

Jeice: So where are the babes?

Zarbon: They're around.

Jeice: So Zarbon are you going to dance tonight?

Zarbon: I don't dance, I don't like to draw attention to myself like that. (All the sudden a beautiful brown Changeling woman comes over and sits on Zarbon's lap)

Changeling Woman: So who are you handsome?

Zarbon: I'm Zarbon, I see that you want me as a seat.

Changeling Woman: (Wraps her long, purple tail around Zarbon's waist) Now I got you in my clutches.

Zarbon: (Grabs her tail and unwraps himself) Ok instead of me why don't I offer one of my friends to you! My handsome friends! Smile guys! (Burter and Jeice smile)

Changeling Woman: (Frowns then snorts) Ok fine I'll just leave now. (Leaves)

Jeice: Wow Zarbon you're some chick magnet, how come you didn't let her stay?

Zarbon: There are plenty of fish in the sea, I'm pretty aware that I am a chick magnet and a dude magnate.

Jeice: Oh look there's one now! (Points to a beautiful, green skinned orange haired woman dancing on the dance floor) I'll get her attention.

Zarbon: I've got a bad feeling about this.

Jeice: Yow! Orange haired babe with the green skin! Over here! (Waves a lot, she turns in his direction and gives him the birdy) I think she likes me!

Zarbon: I think she just told you to go to hell.

Jeice: I hear that on other planets it could mean something entirely different.

Burter: (Sees a pretty gold chick with brown hair dancing on the dance floor) I'll go dance with that one! (Goes onto the dance floor and starts dancing terrible in front of her, the girl then kicks him in the knee calves and walks away, he returns to the bar) I don't get it!

Zarbon: Never mind! To get a girl to notice you, you need to sit there and pretend that you're not interested. It always works for me, let them come to you.

Jeice: All right. (They just sit there and nothing happens) This is boring!

Zarbon: Go get us some drinks Jeice.

Jeice: (Looks at the pretty, humanoid bartender, whose blond and blue eyed) You got it Zarby! (Runs over to the bar tender)

Bartender: Can I help you?

Jeice: Yah I need three whiskys!

Zarbon: I don't even like whisky!

Jeice: Sorry I mean three strawberry decries!

Bartender: Coming right up! (She fills the drinks up) Here you go. (Gives the drinks to Jeice)

Jeice: Your welcome, I mean thanks little angel! (Winks at her) Woe, dude! I think she totally digs me!

Zarbon: I'm not sure about her, she's so odd smelling, she smells like fish, a rotten kind of fish I wouldn't eat. (Two sexy blue skinned girls come over and one sits on Jeice's lap and the other one sits on Zarbon's lap)

Sexy Blueskined Girl 1: Hello handsome!

Zarbon: (Has a shocked look on his face) Helloooo…

Jeice: Well hello babes! What brings you to this part of this neighborhood?

Zarbon: Wow I've never seen a woman this beautiful since Liya.

Sexy Blueskinned Girl 2: We want to spank you!

Burter: Hey why isn't there a sexy girl sitting on my lap?

Sexy Blueskinned Girl 3: Hello handsome! (She sits on his lap)

Burter: Can't complain!

Zarbon: This is awfully suspicious.

Jeice: What do you mean suspicious?

Zarbon: I've got a bad feeling about this.

Burter: You're just jealous that you're not the only one these lovely ladies find attractive!

Zarbon: I'm not jealous, something is telling me that there is something…

Jeice: You're just being shy then!

Burter: Lets drink up! Cheers to a good friend that tried to make us the coolest dudes on the planet and draw the babes to up!

Zarbon: Cheers!

Jeice: Cheers! (They slam their glasses together and they drink up) That was good!

Burter: I say we go to a fast food restaurant!

Zarbon: Ew, I don't do fast food, I'm a health freak!

Jeice: You're not one of those stupid vegans are you?

Zarbon: No.

Sexy Blueskinned Girl 3: Drink up boys! Drink as much as you can!

Zarbon: Well that's weird, telling me to drink, I think I need to go home, I need to go to bed.

Burter: A nap wouldn't be a bad idea.

Jeice: Right with you dude! (They all fall asleep, apparently their drinks have been spiked)

**Scene 5**

Hours later, in a back alley, Zarbon, Jeice, and Burter are chained up and they wake up.

Zarbon: (Wakes up) Guys wake up! (They're still asleep) Wake up!

Jeice: Wow where are we? (He finds that he's chained up) What? What are we doing in chains?

Burter: We're in chains! This is quite humiliating!

Zarbon: Well at least I don't feel any pain, I guess I still have my two kidneys. (All the sudden the door opens up and the bartender and the three other ladies that were hitting on them come in to) I knew it!

Burter: Nobody likes a know it all Zarbon.

Zarbon: Be quiet Burter.

Bartender: Its about time boys woke up.

Jeice: Say aren't those the babes that were hitting on us?

Burter: Maybe they've come to unlock us, yes this is all Freezer's doing.

Jeice: Maybe Captain Ginue is trying to test us.

Zarbon: I don't get you two at all.

Bartender: Quiet you morons! We're not here to fuck anyone, rescue anyone nor test anyone! We just want our fresh meat!

Jeice: Fresh meat?

Bartender: Transform girls! (They all transform into ugly looking gill fish monsters)

Zarbon: I didn't come to the bar just to end up as stake, come on guys! Break away from your chains! (He breaks from his chains)

Burter and Jeice: Right! (They break from their chains too)

Zarbon: This means war! (They start fighting the gill fish monsters and Zarbon punches one) You are way uglier then my other form! (His nails turn into claws and he scratches her in the face and then steps on her neck)

Jeice: Yah that'll teach you to mess with the Ginue Force! (He slaps the girl in the face and then punches his fist through her and rips out her heart)

Burter: Yes you mess with the Ginue Force then you die! (He throws her across the room and then smashes her head)

Jeice: Hey Burter catch! (He throws the heart at Burter and it hits him in the face)

Burter: Man Jeice!

Zarbon: The bartender is getting away! Let's get her! (Sees the two throwing body parts at each other) Never mind! (He runs after her and chases her out into the street) You owe me my money back bitch! Wow talk about a lame comeback! (He throws a fireball at her and he misses and hits a building) Ops.

Bartender: Ha ha! Better luck next…. (Another bus runs into her squishing her like a bug)

Zarbon: That was lucky!

**Scene 6**

Zarbon, Jeice and Burter are at a fastfood restaurant later that night, and its late.

Zarbon: I'm so sorry I almost got you guys killed.

Jeice: That's all right, so what happened to the bartender?

Zarbon: I would rather tell you guys later.

Jeice: Please Zarby?

Zarbon: (He looks at them smiling) I killed her with a fireball that I threw at her, sleepover at my place!

Burter: Hell yah just like when we were kids right Jeice?

Jeice: Right!

**Scene 7**

At Zarbon's place, Zarbon, Jeice and Burter are all sleeping on the floor. Jeice is dreaming about being a rock star and girls drooling over him. Burter is dreaming about being rich and women drooling over him, while Zarbon is dreaming about lifting weights and women and men going nuts over him, and Blacky, Zarbon's black devon rex cat that is sleeping next to Zarbon is dreaming about impressing other female cats.

End of story


	7. Chapter 7

_If Only I Was Him  
_

Captain Ginyu was sitting down at the party with Jeice, since Jeice was his best friend and best student and squadron member; Freezer invited him to go to a party held by Freezer. Although Freezer was as ruthless as hell and did not do anything for his people or for the economy, he held wild parties. Ginyu looked on as Jeice looked at the cute concubines, "Dude I would totally do that with her!" Jeice said laughing.

"Oh Jeice do you mind?" Ginyu asked.

"What's the matter Captain you seem depressed?" Jeice said.

"I feel unappreciated and Freezer invited me to this party and I thought he wanted to talk to me, but he's ignoring me." Ginyu said.

"Don't cry Captain I'll hug you." Jeice then gave Ginyu a hug, he was the only other person other than Ginyu's students and squadron that he had, oh and then there was Zarbon, that glamour-puss!

Zarbon was good friends with Ginyu and with Jeice, but he was not so sure about the other squadron people. He had something in common with Ginyu, he felt alone in the world, even though he had a group of devoted friends such as Kiwi, Apple, Liya, Jeice and Ginyu. He was popular around the solders and the women; problem was he had no freedom to do whatever he wanted to do.

He was not a horn dog like Ginyu or Jeice, but he was the on and off boyfriend of Liya, that controlling anteater like alien with the pouty lips, purple skin and that sexy British sounding accent, did we mention that she had a nice rack on her? Anyways he was feeling sad, maybe a mood swing, no wait it was not that.

Liya walked over to Zarbon and sat down next to him, "What's up lover?" Liya asked kissing Zarbon on the lips.

"Liya come on I just broke up with you again," Zarbon said.

"Is that why you are so sad, maybe I can make everything feel better," She said putting his face between her breasts.

"Liya just give it a rest, yes it's true that I miss you a lot, but I can't stand you being so controlling! It just comes off as being unattractive and maniacal!" Zarbon said.

"Look Zarbon if it weren't for me you wouldn't have fucked a woman!" She said.

"Yes and you're the only woman I want to fuck, but I can't just fuck you and except to feel better the next day, we live under a regime of tyranny and violence, and Freezer isn't do a damn thing to help the people of this planet out!" Zarbon said.

"Uh is that all you care about? Who is she?" She asked.

"What are you talking about?" Zarbon asked drinking some wine down very baffled, he hated when Liya wrongfully accused him of loving someone else and picking fights with random women and men. Sad truth was that the only people he ever made love to were Freezer and Liya, nobody else mattered.

"I mean are you in love with another woman, is it another man I know that you're bisexual!" Liya yelled.

Zarbon tried to ignore her, but she kept on ranting on, "I'm talking to you asshole!" she then slapped him in the face.

She picked the wrong time to piss Zarbon off, he rarely liked to harm women and children unlike the other men, but in this case she went too far, he got mad and looked at her, "Liya I hate you!" then he ran out of the party.

"Yah you wish you hated me, why don't you fuck me right now asshole!" She then took her dress off and ran around naked, to the point where Freezer had to have her escorted out of the party by Apple, the only other person other than Zarbon he could trust around women.

"Wow who was that?" Captain Ginyu asked.

"You mean that crazy bitch, that's Liya Zarbon's on and off girlfriend!" Jeice said rolling his eyes.

"Wow she's pretty! I wish I could be with her!" Ginyu said.

"I could help you be with her!" Ginyu turned to see the seventeen-year-old Vegeta with a drunken woman kissing him on the neck, "We'll have sex later Alana," Vegeta said kissing her on the lips.

"What do I have to do?" Ginyu asked.

"Rumor has it that you can switch bodies with people, is it true?" Vegeta asked.

"Yes, but I haven't done it in like forever, why would I want to switch bodies with Zarbon?" Ginyu asked.

"Because you like Liya, I can see it in your eyes; I can tell when a man likes a woman." Vegeta said.

"Ok fine you caught me!" Ginyu said.

"See I'm smarter than I'm given credit for." Vegeta said.

"Get lost Vegeta!" Jeice said drinking some wine.

"He might be onto something here!" Ginyu said.

"But Captain, anything that Vegeta suggests can't be good!" Jeice said.

"Keep talking, I'm listening," Ginyu said.

Later on, Zarbon forgot to lock his room up, so Vegeta and Ginyu snuck in quietly and went over to Zarbon's bed, Blacky the black Devon Rex hissed at Vegeta and ran off, "Ok let's try to be quiet and get this over with." Vegeta said as he and Ginyu walked up to the bed and looked at the sleeping Zarbon.

"Oh he looks so cute and innocent, poor thing is so unhappy when he's awake," Ginyu said.

"Mum, don't leave me I need you!" Zarbon yelled. His mother supposedly abandoned him, leaving him on Planet Freezer and promising to bring him back to his home planet when it was safe. Truth is she died before she had the chance to bring him back, for she was a broken woman, and Zarbon did not get over her death, ever!

Vegeta snorted, "What a weakling! Now Ginyu let's get this over with." Vegeta said.

All the sudden Ginyu reconsidered, "I'm sorry I can't Zarbon seems unhappy enough as it is and I don't want to make him even more unhappy." Ginyu said.

"You know there is a full moon tonight, if I look at it, bad things will happen!" Vegeta said about to open the curtain up.

"You wouldn't dare!" Ginyu said, after all the significance of Vegeta looking at the moon was simple as pie. He was a child of the moon, a sort of were-monkey, whereas Zarbon and Freezer's kind were nothing more than shape shifters that could shape shift anytime they wanted to.

"Want to make a bet; you'll be dead by the time I look at the full moon!" Vegeta said.

"Ok fine I'll get it over with!" Ginyu said. He then bent over Zarbon and sucked his soul into his body whereas his soul went into his body; it was so melodramatic that Ginyu passed out. Vegeta then did him the kindness of getting Nappa and taking him home.

Next day Ginyu woke up in Zarbon's body, "What the hell happened, I feel very lightheaded!" He said. Then he threw up all over the bed, "Oh shit I forgot that I switched bodies with Zarbon!" he said. He ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, "Damn I look like shit! How am I going to get that girl to sleep with me now?" Ginyu said.

Meanwhile Zarbon woke up in Ginyu's body and did not feel like shit like he was supposed to, after all he got drunk last night and passed out in his bed, "That's funny, why do I feel so good when I drank a lot last night just so I could pass out?" Zarbon asked.

Then he noticed that he felt taller, "That's weird I feel awkward and clumsy, hum maybe I should check the mirror for any…" All the sudden he noticed that he was not in his room, "This isn't my room!" Zarbon then felt a weird sensation in his stomach, or should I say Ginyu's stomach. "I need to piss!" he said.

Then he got up, somehow found the bathroom, went inside it, unzipped his pants and started peeing in the toilet, then he noticed that his penis was purple instead of turquoise, "What the hell! I think my penis must have gotten infected when I was asleep!"

Then he looked at his hands, "Oh my God my hands look horrid! Let me check to see if the rest of me is anymore mutilated!" Zarbon looked in the mirror and he could not believe what he saw, "Oh my God, what the hell am I doing in Captain Ginyu's body!" He yelled.

There was a knock on the door, and Jeice came into the room, "Ginyu its time to do workouts! You're already late!" Jeice said.

"Think quickly Zarbon, what would Ginyu say right now?" he asked himself since he was not at the moment in a position to get his own body back, "I'll be there in a moment!" He yelled.

"Dude what happened to your voice?" Jeice asked.

"Nothing why?" Zarbon asked.

"It sounds like you've been going to charm school or something that silly!" Jeice said.

Uh oh, Zarbon's voice was too deep and proper sounding for it to sound like Ginyu's voice, so he did the best he could to make it sound less proper and more rough, "Get out of here Jeice, I'll meet you and the Ginyu squad immdealty!" Zarbon said.

After Zarbon had some time to think to himself, he went down to the court where the Ginyu Squad usually met for practice, these were Ginyu's best men, but that sad part was that they were almost as outrageous and brainless as Ginyu himself. Zarbon thought of a great strategy in mind, "Now is my chance to pose as Ginyu and see which of these people don't like me for real." Zarbon thought to himself.

"Hello Ginyu are you going to do roll call?" Tina asked.

"Ok where's my list?" Zarbon asked.

"You don't have one sir; you know all of our names!" Guldo said.

Zarbon started to sweat like crazy, he knew who Burter, Jeice, Tina and Recoome was, but he did not remember Guldo at all, "Sorry I forgot your name, little alien with the four eyes!" Zarbon said pointing to Guldo.

Guldo laughed, "Ginyu remember me, after Jeice I'm your favorite student Guldo!" Guldo said.

"Great now that everyone is here, before we begin excurses, I need to know something!" Zarbon said.

"I'm sorry I didn't do your laundry sir, I forgot to buy more laundry detergent!" Burter said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, no wonder why Ginyu's underwear felt so dirty, he did not even have time to shower this morning either, "That's ok Burter, but I must know, what do you think about Zarbon?" Zarbon asked smiling.

They all looked at him as if he was crazy, "Why is that important?" Burter asked.

"Because I've been hearing a lot of rumors lately that are so horrible that I think that one of you spread them!" Zarbon lied.

"Damn you caught us, we were just having fun!" Guldo said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, damn for a liar, he sure was instinctive, "I'm sorry?" Zarbon asked.

"We're sorry Ginyu, we didn't mean to make fun of Zarbon, and it's just that he's such a glamour-puss! Uh it embarrasses us to be seen with him, and some of the people on campus pretend to be in love with him when he's around, and then they talk about him behind his back when he isn't around." Jeice said.

"What kinds of stuff do they say?" Zarbon asked.

"They say that he's like a modern day version of Marie Antoinette, only much clumsier!" Burter said.

Zarbon started to frown, he could not believe that the Ginyu Squad were actually stupid enough to confess that they too made fun of him behind his back, who could blame them, Zarbon was actually a glamour-puss, but comparing him to an earthling was twice as embarrassing. "What else do they say?" Zarbon asked.

"They make fun of him because he's a primal changeling, it's so sad because he can't help it if he has another form, I mean it's not like he's the only primal changeling on the planet." Jeice said.

Consider the fact that primal changelings, considered by Ice-jin changelings outcasts of Planet Freezer besides other unpopular species such as the Sayains, are envied for their intelligence, romantic transforming mating rituals, strong paternal and material instinct, and most of all for their peaceful nature.

So why was this all a threat to Freezer then, because Primal Changelings were smarter than Sayains and Ice-jin Changelings put together. They also wore beautiful clothing, which did not click well with other species, also their other forms were so ugly that Freezer almost made a law that they could not transform into their other forms.

Talk about prejudice, but then the government found out that primal changelings are peaceful, loving creatures that only transformed to defeat the powerful, deadly creatures that lurked on their own home planet. They also dieted on fish and other various sea -foods, including the occasional crocodile.

Back to our story, Zarbon looked down and never truly realized that Freezer persecuted his species ever, it was no secret to him that Freezer beheaded his father's parents. Freezer had the heads put on stakes as a warning to other primal changelings to not mess with him, that was before Freezer allied himself to Zarbon's aunt, only to have her poisoned, he would boast about these things to Zarbon himself.

"Wait just one moment, Primal Changelings are persecuted?" Zarbon asked, after all he lived a sheltered life thinking that he had it terrible, never before had he realized that others like himself suffered just as much.

"Duh, everyone knows that, it's actually illegal to transform, unless you're in the army or something." Jeice said.

Zarbon had never been so mad in all his life; he was a peaceful creature at heart and always had been despite Freezer raising him from a small child. He could not believe how much ignorance spread, now he knew the reason why Dodoria always made fun of him in his other form, although one thing never made sense to him, Dodoria was Shasha's best friend, who was Zarbon's former trainer and his current brother-in-law, "Ok enough of this talk, I don't want to dwell on it!" Zarbon said.

Meanwhile in the palace, Ginyu looked around and then bumped into Apple, "Hey Zarbon how are you doing this morning?" Apple asked.

"I feel sick to my stomach," Ginyu said in his actual voice.

"What happened to your voice you sound really bad," Apple said.

Ginyu then tried to talk in a proper English sounding voice, but it did not go well, "Sorry I forgot your name again?" Ginyu said.

"Apple, I helped Freezer raise you and so did Kiwi, did you forget his name too?" Apple asked.

"No why?" Ginyu asked.

"Never mind, just meet us at breakfast!" Apple said walking away.

Ginyu wondered into the cafeteria at breakfast time, he looked around and saw a table with Kiwi, Apple and Liya sitting there waiting for him. He walked over there to sit down by Liya, "Hello I forgot your name," He said trying not to sound so impersonal.

"You forgot my name, I don't blame you, I'm so sorry that I even bothered to…" Before Liya could finish Ginyu grabbed her hand.

"You're pretty, I say we go and fuck in your bedroom!" Ginyu said.

"You want to have sex?" Liya asked.

"Yes that's why I'm asking you!" Ginyu said.

"Ok fine, it's a little too early for me, I have a hangover," Liya said grabbing a spit up bucket and throwing up into it.

All the sudden the intercom came on, "Zarbon report to my private office that is all!" Freezer said.

Ginyu did just that in Zarbon's body, he came into Freezer's office and Freezer turned around, "Why did you come into the office looking all sloppy like that?" Freezer asked.

"Dude I have a hangover, did you expect me to look cute or something?" Ginyu asked.

"Are you looking to get your neck broken Zarbon?" Freezer asked thumping his tail onto the ground.

"What, why are you threatening me?" Ginyu asked.

"Don't make me do what I used to do to you as a child!" Freezer said.

"What would that be?" Ginyu asked nervously, after all Zarbon admitted to Ginyu a long time ago that Freezer sexually abused him as a child, but it did not go Zarbon's way because Ginyu beat the living tar out of Freezer.

"Are we playing twenty questions or something, next time I catch you smarting off like that I'm going to kick your ass you hear me?" Freezer asked.

"Yes sir, I need to go change then" Ginyu ran out of the room like Speedy Gonzalez.

He then bumped into Liya, "Well let's go and have sex Zarbon!" she took him into the other room.

Meanwhile at the Ginyu Campus Zarbon was in Ginyu's room as emotionless as ever, "I can't believe people think I'm just a glamour-puss, I'm much more than that, I'm smarter than them and I am most certainly nothing like Marie Antoinette!" Zarbon thought to himself, all the sudden there was a knock on the door, Zarbon got up and got the door, it was Jeice, "Jeice what are you doing here?" Zarbon asked.

"Dude what the hell was wrong with you today?" Jeice asked coming into the room and sitting down on the bed.

"What do you mean?" Zarbon asked.

"You knew that Primal Changelings were persecuted, you helped carry out genocide against them, the only person that was kind enough to stop it before all of them died out on this planet was Cooler!" Jeice said.

"I helped killed the Primal Changelings off?" Zarbon asked.

"Duh, well just on this planet and you were the one that chopped Zarbon's grandparent's heads off remember?" Jeice asked.

Zarbon got mad, "Why I must be ashamed of myself!" He said.

"Yes I know, you told me that if you ever did such a horrible thing like that ever again then you must die," Jeice said.

"God I mustn't tell Zarbon then, because he might end up kicking Ginyu's ass!" Zarbon said angry looking.

"You didn't have a choice, I know how much you love the Freezer regime, don't get me wrong, but I'm sure in time if Zarbon ever finds out that his grandparents and other primal changelings were massacred then maybe he could forgive them, after all they have a higher position in society now-a-days only because Cooler is protecting them." Jeice said.

"I'm sorry it's just sad to see another species parish, like the Sayains." Zarbon said closing his eyes.

"But you hate the Sayains; you told me yourself that you wished they'd all die, especially after your family was murdered by them." Jeice said.

"I had a family?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes, King Vegeta had them murdered because your mom and dad were like spies or something that outrageous."Jeice said.

"I see, Jeice my dear you never ever want to help eliminate another species, while it looks admirable in the long-run, it's actually a really nasty task that has a grip on your conscious no matter how horrible the species were to being with." Zarbon said.

"What's the word admirable mean again?" Jeice asked.

"Look Jeice, I thought this conversation was great and all, but I need some time alone ok?" Zarbon asked.

Meanwhile at the palace, Zarbon's body with Ginyu's soul in it was having sex with Liya, "Damn so this is what sex with a woman is like?" Ginyu said aloud.

"Are you implying that I'm a man?" Liya asked getting angry with Zarbon's body.

"Uh no, I…" Before Ginyu could finish saying what he was going to say, Liya slapped him in the face and kicked him out of the room.

"Damn that woman is harsh as hell; I can't believe I just boned her in Zarbon's body!" Ginyu said with a pissed look on his face.

All the sudden he heard some laughing, Vegeta was looking at Ginyu, Ginyu did not realize that he forgot to put some clothes on, so in order to get out of this embarrassing situation, he switched bodies with Vegeta, now he was in the Sayains' body and laughed, "Whose laughing now?" he asked.

Vegeta looked down and ran into the hallway naked to his room to look for something to wear. Ginyu laughed while walking down the hallway and then someone grabbed him in Vegeta's body and took him into a dark room, "What's going on here?" he asked.

All the sudden he felt someone's lips, "Wow Liya is that you? So you decided to apologize did you?" He then felt her face, hum, Liya had an anteater-like shaped face, and who was it then? If felt humanoid, then he found the light and turned it on, it was a half naked girl, quite beautiful too, with yellow eyes, thick black hair, and medium brown skin.

She was a primal changeling, as the matter of fact it turned out to be Miretta, Zarbon's younger half sister from Planet Primal! "It's me remember?" She asked.

"Wow you're hot!" Ginyu yelled aloud.

"Where have you been, I've been waiting for you to get a condom from the pharmacy!" Miretta yelled.

"Wait we were having sex?" Ginyu asked still in Vegeta's body.

"Yes didn't you remember? We can't tell Shasha that we're in here, or else he'll beat the living tar out of you and me both!" She said.

"Wait who is this Shasha fellow?" Ginyu asked confused almost as much as he was when he was doing it with Liya.

"Shasha is my husband and he beats me and rapes helpless women when he has to take over other planets for Freezer. I'm at home watching the children, and Zarbon usually has to help me out!" Miretta said.

"Wait how do you know Zarbon?" Ginyu asked.

Miretta laughed nervously, "Don't be coy, he's my older brother!" She said.

Ginyu started cracking a smile, and tried not to laugh, but he could not hold it any longer, he laughed and fell to the floor and laughed still. Then it got to the point where he started crying because his stomach hurt so much from laughing, "A beautiful creature like you, the sister of that glamour-puss?" Ginyu asked.

"Yes Vegeta you knew that, I know you don't like him, but he's really sweet once you get to know him." Miretta said.

"You're seriously related to Zarbon? How come you have brown skin and he's turquoise?" Ginyu asked.

"Because when primal changelings mate, their offspring's skin color is determined by the dominate gene, and well my mother had brown skin also, but I have my father's eyes." Miretta said.

"Wow you're such a knockout! Vegeta is sure lucky to be fucking a hot, sweet girl like you!" Ginyu said forgetting for a second that he was in Vegeta's body.

"What are you talking about you are Vegeta!" Miretta yelled.

"Sorry I have a cold I have to be going now!" Ginyu said about to walk out of the room.

"Nonsense, we need to make love, we've done it many times, remember when I lost my virginity to you when I was thirteen and you were like nine?" Miretta asked.

Ginyu felt sick to his stomach when he heard this, but who cared, she was hot and she was on his list of priorities! "Who cares, let's have sex!"

Then Ginyu took his Sayain armor off and was about to make love to her, but unfortunately someone opened the closet door, it was Dodoria, "Hey Shasha I found your slutty wife in here!" Dodoria yelled.

Shasha ran over to the closet, but Dodoria closed the door, "Why did you do that?" Shasha asked.

"Because she has a friend in there," Dodoria said.

"Who?" Shasha asked.

"Vegeta!" Dodoria said.

"Son of bitch!" Shasha ripped the door off and walked into the room, "Look at you, you slut I have once again caught you with monkey boy! You know Freezer's orders, you're not supposed to fuck or even go near Sayain warrior!" Shasha said.

"Right I'll just get going; I must put Tatiana down for a nap!" Miretta said trying to weasel her way out of this one.

"You're not going anywhere; you're going to get the shit beaten out of you now!" Shasha said grabbing her violently.

Poor girl, she gotten herself into an abusive relationship with that jerk no wonder why she had sex with Vegeta behind Shasha's back. Ginyu was not crazy about hurting women, so he decided to help her out, then he grabbed Miretta, threw her across the room, grabbed Shasha and switched bodies with him.

"What is going on?" Shasha asked, he noticed that he had a monkey tail, although Primal Changelings had tails too, but they usually came out of their tailbone area when they were usually horny or mating, besides they were only about a foot long. "I'm in monkey boy! Dodoria I'm in monkey boy!" Shasha yelled in Vegeta's body.

"Let me take care of him Shasha!" Dodoria then grabbed Vegeta's body, picked him up and took him far away.

"It's me you idiot!" Shasha yelled still trapped inside Vegeta's body.

"Yah, yah like I've never heard that one before!" Dodoria said.

"I have to go now!" Ginyu said excusing himself and running off somewhere into the palace.

Meanwhile at the Ginyu campus, Zarbon was looking through Ginyu's stuff, he could not find any documents that talked about the mass genocide of the Primal Changelings on planet Freezer, "Damn I need proof somewhere!" Zarbon said.

Jeice came into the room, "Ginyu dude what are you doing?" Jeice asked.

"Nothing Jeice, I'm busy go away!" Zarbon said.

"How can I when you need kissing lessons!" Jeice said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "Kissing lessons?" He asked.

"You wanted me to give you some tips on how to kiss women!" Jeice said.

"Ok, that's fine and all but Freezer doesn't allow me to go near women, he's scared that I'll produce offspring or something like that." Zarbon said.

"What are you talking about dude, you were married once," Jeice said.

"So what happened to her?" Zarbon asked.

"Ok that does it, I want to know what is going on, you've been acting really strange lately." Jeice said.

"I have a little bit of memory loss is all, now go away and come back later!" Zarbon said.

"Do you at least want me to give you some kissing lessons?" Jeice asked.

"No I don't want to make out with you, I'm not the least bit attracted to you!" Zarbon said annoyed.

"Well Jesus man, what are you talking about, nobody is saying that we're a pair!" Jeice said.

"Ok fine I'll just blurt it out, I'm Zarbon and Ginyu switched bodies with me somehow!" Zarbon said.

"Damn it not again!" Jeice said.

"What do you mean again?" Zarbon asked.

"He did this last week, ever since he found out that he has this new power he went around switching bodies with the whole Ginyu Squad." Jeice said.

"We need to get me back into my body!" Zarbon said.

"I agree, oh damn it how long have you been in his body for?" Jeice asked.

"A whole day?" Zarbon asked.

"Uh oh, that info that I told you about the genocide of the Primal Changelings and all that, that's classified government information, I'm going to be in trouble!" Jeice said.

"Don't worry about it Jeice I won't rat you out I promise!" Zarbon said.

"Thanks dude, I'm sorry that we made fun of you for being a glamorous person behind your back, most of it is just admiration I swear it.," Jeice said.

"Who cares, we need to get my body back!" Zarbon said running out of the room with Jeice following him.

Vegeta was still in Zarbon's body going through his drawer, sad part was that Vegeta usually wore medium sized stuff, whereas Zarbon usually wore large, "Damn it isn't there anything that fits?" He asked.

Nappa came into Vegeta's room, "Hey Vegeta!" He yelled. Then he stopped dead in his tracks, what was Zarbon doing here? "Zarbon what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not Zarbon idiot I'm Vegeta, Captain Ginyu switched bodies with me!" Vegeta yelled.

"Then how did you end up in Zarbon's body?" Nappa asked.

"No time to explain we need to go and find Ginyu!" Vegeta yelled.

Meanwhile Ginyu was in Shasha's body and he was in Freezer's office, "Shasha what are you doing here?" Freezer asked.

"Uh I came to ask you something." Ginyu asked.

"What happened to your Russian accent?" Freezer asked.

"I have a cold!" Ginyu said.

"Never mind you can ask me later, I need you to go on your mission to conquer Planet Algae!" Freezer said.

"Ew sounds gross to me!" Ginyu said.

"Do you want to get executed for not doing so?" Freezer asked.

Then all the sudden Vegeta ran into the room, still in Zarbon's body, "Zarbon what are you doing here?" Freezer asked.

"I'm not Zarbon, it's me Vegeta!" Vegeta said in his normal voice.

"What it can't be, you have to be Zarbon!" Freezer said.

All the sudden Shasha, who was still in Vegeta's body ran into the room too, with Dodoria chasing him, "Freezer it's me Shasha, I'm so sorry I'm late!" Shasha yelled.

"Shasha is that you? What are you doing in Vegeta's body?" Freezer asked.

"Hey you said I was Zarbon!" Vegeta yelled.

Freezer started to sweat, was he hallucinating again, he went to the wine cabinet, opened a bottle of red wine and started drinking it down, "I don't know what is going on here, but how did you end up in his body?" Freezer asked.

"Captain Ginyu!" They all yelled.

Then Zarbon showed up with Jeice in Ginyu's body, "Zarbon are you in Ginyu's body?" Freezer asked.

"Yes I'm afraid so!" Zarbon said looking down.

Later on, they all got back into their original bodies to make a long story short, for it took a while to get the right people into the right bodies.

Freezer stared at Ginyu, "Ginyu you should be ashamed of yourself, and how many times do I have to tell you not to use your power unless you're on the battle field?" Freezer asked.

"I just wanted to see what it was like to be in Zarbon's body is all, and then it got out of control sir!" Ginyu said.

"For this I shall have you exiled!" Freezer said.

"Don't it's not his fault, in fact I learned a lot from this experience!" Zarbon said.

"What did you learn?" Freezer asked.

Zarbon could not tell the classified info that he heard from Jeice so he told a different truth, "I learned that I shouldn't leave my door opened when I'm drunk!" Zarbon said.

"Excellent now away with both of you!" Freezer yelled.

"Yes Lord Freezer!" Zarbon and Captain Ginyu said as they left.

Zarbon pulled Ginyu aside, "Hey Ginyu can I ask you something?" Zarbon asked.

"Sure anything kid," He said.

"Why did you kill my grandparents?" Zarbon asked.

"I'm sorry about that, I had no choice, and Freezer would have killed me if I wouldn't have!" Ginyu said.

"I know you didn't have a choice, but considering the circumstances for the fact that I didn't know them and weren't close to them, I sort of forgive you!" Zarbon said.

"Thank you! Oh thank you!" Ginyu yelled excited.

"By the way Ginyu, don't you ever switch bodies with me again! That was living hell that you put me through!" Zarbon said.

"Well you think you went through hell, imagine what it was like for me to be boning that psycho girlfriend of yours!" Ginyu said.

"I was thinking about staying away from her anyways." Zarbon said.

"Ok imagine what it was like for me to find out that Vegeta is boning your younger sister!" Ginyu said.

Zarbon then flushed a perfect purple, "What!" he asked.

End of story


	8. Chapter 8

_**Sweet Obsessive Love part 1**_

You know how they say that loves happens when you least expect it, well this is not one of those times. It all took place at the Ginyu Force Campus when Zarbon was walking down the hallway with Jeice.

They were talking because they were friends, Jeice being a young, naïve twenty year old had to ask some more questions to Zarbon, "How do you overcome your female problems?"

Zarbon turned to him and smiled, "I don't overcome them, and I run them through my hair,"

Jeice rolled his eyes, "What's that mean?"

"The fact is that I could have any girl I want, if Freezer would permit me, I'm not even allowed to have sex with girls, Freezer doesn't want me to get anyone pregnant or else I'll be sentenced to death." Zarbon said.

Jeice's eyes grew wide, "Wow that's pretty harsh, I already have two sons with my ex girlfriend, and she doesn't even let me see them a whole lot."

"Wow it must be hard as a father to go through with something like that," Zarbon said sympathetically.

Jeice smiled, "Nope I'm quite relieved actually!"

Zarbon frowned, "But you don't know how lucky you are, you get to have kids with whoever you want to have kids with." Zarbon said.

Jeice smiled, "Don't feel jealous, you're not missing anything, trust me, look on the bright side, at least you're not castrated," Jeice laughed.

"So I'm not castrated, but I still must obey Freezer or else I might…." Before Zarbon could finish what he was saying, he and Jeice saw three boys whom were in Jeice's class, push Tina around.

Now Tina was a nerdy girl the same age as Jeice, with green skin, blond hair up in pigtails, and always wore that Catholic schoolgirl uniform, her eyes were as red as Jeice's skin, she was short and had a British sounding accent. Another problem was that Tina was head over heels in love with Jeice, ever since the first grade, she could never get him to like her back no matter how hard she tried.

Jeice was freaking out, "Oh God its Tina, hide me! " he hid behind Zarbon for protection.

Zarbon on the other hand just stared at Tina, now as vain and selfish as he could be, he had a soft side for women unlike most of Freezer's men, who usually violated them, hit them, or killed them without thought. "Say isn't that Spinage, Tomato and Mushroom from your class?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes, yes it is, get her boys!" Jeice said.

Zarbon had an uneasy look on his face, "Are they picking on her?" he asked.

Jeice on the other did not care what so ever, "That's right dudes! Get her away from me! All right they stole her book bag!" Jeice was laughing all excited.

Tina tried to grab the book bag from Mushroom, "Give that back!" she said jumping into the air trying to knock it out of his grip.

"Oh here you go!" Mushroom said as he lured her into pretending that he was going to give the book bag back to her, but then he threw it to Tomato, "Ops, I guess I changed my mind!"

She started to sulk, "What are you going to start crying, crybaby! " Tomato said then Tina started crying.

"All right Tomato!" Jeice said.

Zarbon started to get furious, "Shut up Jeice!"

Jeice was so shocked, he knew that Zarbon could be overbearing, but this was pushing it, "What's your problem man?" Jeice asked.

Zarbon then rolled up his arm warmers, "They are my problem, I've seen plenty of suffering, but this is gone far enough!" He marched right towards them.

"Trader, you're blowing this out of proportion!" Jeice said.

Spinage laughed, "Girls cry too much!" he then grabbed Tina and threw her into a locker hard all three started laughing.

"Hey, why don't you pick on someone your own size?" Zarbon shouted.

They stopped laughing, and started to feel intimated, Zarbon was tall about six foot one to be exact, and he was a pretty, big, muscular man, compared to them and even Jeice and Tina, his energy could come off as fierce. Mushroom shook with fear, "Zarbon's here, hey Zarbon how's it going?"

Zarbon looked even angrier, "No shit Sherlock! Which one of you first?" he started to crack his knuckles and then his neck and backbone.

Spinage then stupidly courageous volunteered to take him on, "I'll go!" but before he could make a move, Zarbon punched him in the face, so hard that Spinage went flying into the lockers.

Tomato was next, but he was too scared, Zarbon showed no mercy and kicked him into the lockers, and then Tomato got up and ran away whimpering.

Mushroom got pissed and ran towards Zarbon, just then Zarbon did a high backwards summer salt landing behind him, and then he tapped him on the shoulder and smiled, and backhanded Mushroom sending him flying into the lockers.

Now Tomato was out of site and Mushroom didn't have anyone on his side, except maybe Jeice, but that's beside the point, Zarbon walked up to him crossing his arms, God those muscular arms were just as intimidating as his figure, "I believe that book bag belongs to someone else. Give the little lady her book bag back to her, now!" Zarbon yelled as he frowned.

Mushroom shivered, "Yes…siirrr!" he gave Tina her book bag back and tried to walk away.

"Oh and Mushroom one more thing. " Zarbon walked over to him and picked him up by the neck and threw him into a staff member who had coffee in his hands and it spilled all over the place, Zarbon then had an uneasy look on his face, "Sorry!" he said embarrassed.

Many people started cheering him on, this was no surprise, because everyone, including Captain Ginyu liked Zarbon well. "Thank you, thank you!" Zarbon said, then everyone got uninterested and returned to class once the bell ringed. Zarbon turned to Tina, she was a little scared by his presence, "Are you ok Tina?" he asked.

How strange this was, he never asked her that question before, let alone talked to her much, "Yes I guess, Zarbon I wasn't expecting you to rescue me. Especially since you're so handsome, so muscular and brave!" she batted her eyes, "Thank you so much!" she ran over and hugged him.

Zarbon sighed a little uncomfortable, "I always try to be a perfect gentleman. I don't think they'll be bothering you anymore. "He winked and smiled at her, "I got to go bye!" he ran over to Jeice.

Tina blushed, and tried to get his attention, "Bye, call me! Oh he's so handsome, in fact I'll quit liking Jeice and move on to him, Jeice is a jerk anyways!" she blushed and then swooned.

Jeice could not believe that Zarbon came to his mortal enemy's rescue, "Wow, why did you save Tina?" he asked.

"Well usually I hate bullies and I always get picked on at Freezer's palace, and when I attended military school." Zarbon said.

Jeice smiled, "You like her don't you?" he asked.

Zarbon started laughing, "Certainly not! I was only trying to help; I have to always be a perfect gentleman." He said.

Later that evening, Tina was in her apartment complex on the campus, with her roommate and best friend Gilda, who also had a British sounding accent. "Tina I think it's time for us to go to bed." Gilda said.

"Ok hold on," Tina put her military book up, turned the lights out, and got under the covers.

"Good night Tina," Gilda said.

"Good night Gilda," Tina said.

They went to sleep, another problem occurred, Tina started dreaming probably because she drank too much horse milk, she was in a bar with that soft jazz music playing, the sax, base and the trumpet.

Then the doors opened up , in walked Zarbon walking towards her, he then sat down next to her, turning to her and smiling, "Hello there pretty girl," he said.

Tina's mouth dropped and started drooling, "So do you want to…talk?" he asked.

"Yes that sounds just grand!" she said.

Zarbon then said, "Want to make out with me?"

She smiled, "Hell yah!"

"All right!" he said grabbing her and started making out with her. "Tina say that you want me, that you need me!"

"I want you, I need you, and I love you!" she said.

"Tina, Tina, Tina…" he kept saying.

Just then, Gilda started saying Tina too in real life, "Tina wake up!"

Just then, Tina grabbed poor Gilda and kissed her lips, "Yuck!" Gilda said disgusted with her friend.

"Oh God, was I dreaming?" asked Tina.

"Yes you were dreaming, about Jeice right? Because this is the second time you've done this!" Gilda said.

Tina rubbed her eyes, "Yah something like that! What day is it?" she asked.

"Saturday!" Gilda said.

"Oh my God, I have lecture hall, I'm going to be late and I overslept! " Tina got out of bed and got ready quickly without taking a shower.

"I have to go to work," Gilda said.

"Got to go!" Tina ran out of the room pushing Gilda out of the way.

Tina ran into the lecture hall and tripped and fell down the stairs, everyone started laughing, Zarbon who was at the front of the class turned around, "Shut up or I'll do that thing; you know that thing you don't want me to do!" He said everyone then shut up.

As it turned out, Zarbon was substituting the class, and as a top general for Freezer, he was required to substitute for classes at least occasionally, without pay of course. Jeice was Zarbon's assistant for the day; Tina got up and looked at Zarbon, "Ok now I'm starting to hallucinate! Zarbon is that really you? If so, why are you lecturing?" she asked a little bewildered.

"Of course it's me! Your teacher wasn't feeling well so he asked me to take over for the day!" Zarbon simply explained.

"Will he be back?" asked Tina.

"Yes he's coming back next Saturday!" Zarbon said.

All the other girls gasped, "AWWWW".

"Yah, yah, why are you late Tina?" asked Zarbon.

The silly girl smiled at him, "I overslept, I was dreaming about you and me kissing passionately on the lips, yah! " The whole class burst out laughing including Jeice.

Zarbon blushed crimson, "Tina are you all right?" he asked concerned.

"I'm fine, look!" she took out a magazine with Zarbon on the front cover; it was one of those exotic magazines with Zarbon in the nude, "Remember when you signed your autograph for me? Well I still have it here! "

Zarbon turned pale, "Tina put that away!" Zarbon said.

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you!" she said.

Oh no it came out to soon, the whole class laughed even more. Jeice fell down laughing out of his seat, "Oh my God, Tina has a crush on Zarbon! That's pretty sad!" he laughed.

Zarbon now turned crimson again, only this time he was pissed off, "Oh sure just embarrass me, you love struck girl! All of you shut up, or I'll show my true power!" the class then quieted down.

"Take your seat Tina!" Zarbon said.

"Ok doll face!" Tina said as she took her seat as Zarbon ignored her.

"Now class here is how you plan an attack, first you have to have a strategy and then you have to... here's what I do, you draw a circle and other little circles around the big circle, and you put your subject here in the big circle." Zarbon was drawing circles on the board, who the hell knows a lot about that military strategy anyways?

Wilson started laughing, "Tina loves Zarbon!"He yelled.

Zarbon extended his claws and made a horrible scratching noise on the chalkboard, "Wilson that's enough!" he said.

Charity started laughing, "Zarbon and Tina sitting in the tree!" She said.

Zarbon turned around, "I'm warning you!"

Simon then said, "Oh, Zarbon kiss me, love me, have sex with me!"

"Wow that's weird that's what Zarbon said in my dream!" Tina said not aware of the damage she was causing.

"All right that does it! Everyone is staying after lecture copying from the dictionary! So who's looking forward to that?" Zarbon asked.

The girls including a few boys raised their hands, Zarbon sarcastically smiled, "Good," then he frowned, "Tina, get out you are causing problems! Everything was fine until you showed up!" Zarbon said enraged.

"Was it something I said?" asked Tina, everyone laughed again.

"Just get out of my site!" Zarbon said.

"But," she could not finish was she was about to say.

"Out!" he yelled. Tina got so frightened that she ran out of lecture hall and she tripped a few times on the stairs.

After hours, Zarbon and Jeice headed to the lunchroom, "What's wrong with Tina, she's acting weird," Zarbon said.

"Well yah, she's Tina, the geekest girl on the Ginyu Campus!" Jeice said.

Zarbon then shook his head with disappointment, "It's like she's obsessed with me." He said.

They walked into the cafeteria they saw Tina standing on a table with a radio, "You can say that again!" Jeice said pointing to her.

She then spoke through a microphone, "I dedicate this song to Zarbon, because he's so handsome, and he saved me from being bullied!" she turned the radio on, and it was playing one of those 80s songs.

Some people started laughing, while others thought how sweet that was, that was until she started singing, "Oh Zarbon what a pity you don't understand, you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand! Oh Zarbon you're so pretty you don't understand, its guys like you Zarbon! What you do Zarbon, do Zarbon, don't break my heart Zarbon!" everyone by then covered their ears, she sung so terrible, she was tone deaf and raspy sounding.

Zarbon and Jeice both had their ears covered, "God she sings so terrible! Even I'm a better singer then that!" Zarbon said.

"Yah I told you, she did the same things to me, but when we were kids, she used to sing to the Beatles!" Jeice said.

Zarbon then thought quickly, "I'm going home!" with that, he ran out of the cafeteria and into the parking lot and drove back home.

When he got back to the palace, he shut the door and locked it and then he ran over to his bed and hid under the covers, "Oh my God, Tina is obsessed with me!" although this was not the first nor the last time someone would be obsessed with him.

He got out from under the covers and he picked up Blacky, his little black Devon Rex who communicated with only him telepathically, "What am I going to do Blacky? "

Blacky was tired while Zarbon petted him nervously, "At least it can't get any worst!" all the sudden there was a knock on the door, Zarbon then said in a high pitched badly disguised feminine voice, "Who is it?"

"It's me Kiwi, Freezer wants to see you!" Kiwi said.

"Go away; tell him I'm not in the mood! Or tell him I'm having another mood swing!" Zarbon said.

Kiwi sighed, "He says it urgent!"

"Ok hold on," so Zarbon put his armor, cape, his leg, arm warmers on, and went to the main room where Freezer was standing with his tale thumping on the ground. Zarbon put his cape behind him and bowed down to Freezer, "Yes lord Freezer, you wanted to see me?" he asked.

"Yes I did," Freezer said.

"What's the problem?" Freezer then frowned.

"I heard of your so-called heroism incident yesterday, helping a young woman out, that's so gentleman of you." Freezer said, whose voice sounded high pitched.

Zarbon then smiled naively, "Thank you sir, so you're proud of me?" he asked.

"No not really! You were meant to laugh at the ones who suffer, not help them!" Freezer said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "I couldn't help it, and I couldn't bear to stand the fact that someone was picking on her, let me guess Jeice got to you?"

Freezer then sneered, "No Kiwi did."

Zarbon then shook with fear, "Well aren't you going to hurt me like you always do?" he asked.

Freezer laughed, "Not for something like that, I mean if you love the girl then why the hell not?"

Zarbon turned crimson, "I would have helped anyone in that situation, and I'm too shy to ask anyone out! I can't even ask my ex girlfriend out because I'm too shy, and, and…." Freezer interrupted.

"Zarbon don't start getting hysterical." Freezer said sipping a glass of wine; he was starting to get a little bit drunk.

"Can I go back to my room now?" asked Zarbon.

"Oh wait a minute; aren't you interested in playing with me?" Freezer asked smiling sleazy.

Zarbon was now afraid, whatever Freezer used to do to him didn't feel very right to him, "No I got to go!" Zarbon said as he started backing away.

"Fine just go you man slut!" he threw the glass at Zarbon hitting his armor and Zarbon ran out of the room.

Zarbon got back to his room took his military cloths off and started lifting weights, then there was a knock on the door, "Come in!" he yelled.

The mail carrier had come with the mail, he held roses in his hands, and he shivered because he was afraid of Freezer.

"Hi Zarbon!" he said.

"More fan mail for me?" Zarbon asked smiling cocky.

"Not much today, these flowers came for you!" he handed him the roses.

"Oh how sweet, a secret admirer, that's the 4000th one this month. I wonder who thinks she's a lucky woman," he asked as he sniffed them.

"Oh my they smell so good," Zarbon said.

"I don't know I got to go bye!" he ran away.

"What a strange person." Zarbon then went back into his room and shut the door behind him.

"Oh there's a letter," he took the letter off, got his reading glasses and started reading it, "Roses are red, violets are blue, you're the most handsome man in the universe, and I love you. Love, Tina Baxter? " He then ripped them up and threw the stems into the garbage, except for one piece which he gave to Blacky.

"Oh God, why won't she leave me alone? Oh man, I should have never invited her over to my apartment! She knows where I live!" He lied down with his face in his pillow.

Later on that night, after Zarbon lifted weights for hours, he put his boxers on and half-naked, he sat in front of the mirror and started combing his hair. He then started to sing beautiful but sadly, "Oh Zarbon you're so pretty you don't understand, you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand.." he then looked around to see if anyone heard him, nope just Blacky on the bed giving himself a bath.

"Oh nuts, Zarbon what are you doing!" he asked himself.

"Haven't you talked to yourself long enough?" asked Blacky telepathically.

"But Blacky you don't understand that this girl is obsessed with me, and I can't stand her either." Zarbon said.

Blacky sighed, "What did you do exactly to win her love?"

"Well I saved her from a bunch of bullies picking on her." Zarbon said.

"Zarbon you once again put yourself in the position as the chivalrous hero who stands up for the weak, especially women and children." Blacky said.

"That's not one hundred percent true, I hate Vegeta's guts!" Zarbon said.

"I don't blame you he's such an annoying little…" All the sudden there was singing from outside, which sounded terrible.

"Oh no it's her!" said Zarbon.

He went onto the balcony and saw Tina down on the ground with a guitar and striking the strings hard, "Oh Zarbon how I love thee, with your eyes so gray, and your voice so sexy… can you screw me? "She sang and he forced himself to cover his ears while Blacky hissed and hid under the bed.

All the sudden Dodoria with a mud mask on his face came onto his balcony, "Hey shut up!" he said annoyed.

Tina looked up and screamed, "Zarbon what happened to you?" Tina was clearly below the wrong balcony.

"Tina that's Dodoria, I'm Zarbon!" he yelled.

"Oh Zarbon!" she rushed below his balcony.

"For some reason I'm beginning to think that I made a mistake right this second." Zarbon said to himself.

"You're talking to yourself again!" yelled Blacky.

"Tina what are you doing here? My eyes are goldish-amber, not gray?" Zarbon yelled confused.

"Sorry I'm color blind!" she yelled.

"Never mind, look Tina people are actually trying to get some sleep around here!" Zarbon said.

"Are you married?" asked Tina.

"No and I never will be either!" Zarbon said.

"Please let me sing another song to you! " She said as she was stroking her guitar again.

"Tina don't you think you're taking this obsession thing a little too far?" Zarbon asked.

She started singing again, and Zarbon went back into his room and slammed the door shut and locked it, then went to get some wood, some nails and a hammer and started hammering the boards down onto the balcony door. There was a knock on the door, "Oh now what?" Zarbon then answered the door; it was Kiwi with a box of chocolates. "Is this mine?" he asked.

"Yes and a note came with it; I'll read it for you." Kiwi said.

Zarbon crossed his arms, "Ok then carry on." He said.

"It says that your eyes glisten in the sunlight, and your beautiful angelic face glows in the moonlight." Kiwi read.

Zarbon then smirked, "Yes she is right about me being pretty. Wait a minute, who is it from?"

Kiwi shrugged his shoulders," Beats me." He said.

"Ok you can have the chocolates!" Zarbon said.

Kiwi then smiled, "Thank you so much!" he then started eating them.

"Anytime, good night," he then shut the door.

Liya then walked up to Kiwi, Liya as some of you don't know, was Zarbon's ex girlfriend whom he has known since he was a child, "So did he like the chocolates?"

Kiwi then stared at her and had a guilty look on his face, "He loved them." He then belched.

End of part 1


	9. Chapter 9

Sweet Obsessive Love part 2 

The next day Zarbon and Jeice were walking in the hallway at the Ginyu Campus, "I'm telling you she last night came below my balcony, well actually Dodoria's balcony and sung terrible to me! What did I do wrong, did I accidently put a love spell on her or something?" asked Zarbon.

"Nope it's what we call in the medical community sick obsessive love." Jeice said smiling.

"Oh very funny Jeice, at least it couldn't get any worse." Zarbon said.

They went outside, and saw Tina by a new hover convertible car, "Yes it can!" yelled Jeice pointing to Tina.

There was a sign that said, _TO MY SWEETEST, MOST HANDSOME BOYFRIEND!_ Zarbon was in complete shock, "Oh my goodness, she got me a new car!"

Tina walked up to Zarbon, "And it's all yours! " She gave him the keys.

"Thank you!" He jumped into his new hover car and took off.

"Come back Zarbon! I love you!" she yelled.

On another part of the campus, Zarbon stopped the car and ran into the boy's bathroom and Tina, who was the track and field star of the high school track and field team, caught up with him and tried to walk into the boy's restroom.

Just then Burter came out and was shocked, "You can't come in, it's the boy's bathroom!" she then sighed.

"Burter aren't you a bit old to be making such prejudgments?" she asked.

Burter did not get the message, and panicked; "There's a girl in the boy's restroom!" he picked her up and threw her out.

Zarbon came out of the stall, "Thanks so much you're an angel Burter! I owe you one!" he said.

"No problem it was noth…."

"Now to get to my old car," Zarbon said, he ran all the way to the parking lot and found flowers in his old car, "Oh yuck!" he then drove all the way home.

Later that evening, Zarbon and Liya were at a dance club. Liya, not a more attractive alien, but had that Anglo-Saxton manner about her just as Zarbon did. "So what's on your mind?" asked Liya in her British sounding accent.

"I don't want to talk about it." Zarbon said drinking beer.

The bartender Yentel came up to him, "Hey Zarbon did you hear that what's her name bought you a new car?" she said.

"You mean the one I found this afternoon in the parking lot?" asked Zarbon.

"No this is a Ferrari, one of those expensive earth cars." Yentel said.

"How could she possibly afford it?" asked Zarbon.

"Her father is rich," Yentel said as she was cleaning a crystal glass.

"Well that explains the Catholic schoolgirl look." Zarbon said.

"Hello Zarbon!" Zarbon and Liya turned around and saw a most horrible sight, Liya was standing in front of them, in a playboy bunny suit, and she waved at Zarbon.

"Oh God!" Zarbon then flushed.

"Who is this?" Liya asked all angry.

"I have never seen her before in my life," Zarbon then guzzled his beer down fast.

"So what do you think Zarbon?" She twirled for him.

"I'll tell you what I think, you look like a slut! Do you actually want to give yourself away sexually?" Liya yelled at her.

"Who are you calling a slut?" Tina got into Liya's face.

"I'm leaving; this is too awkward for me!" Liya got her purse and left.

"Liya wait!" Zarbon yelled.

"Oh Zarbon I want you!" yelled Tina who went over to him and hugged him. Zarbon gracefully took her arms from around him.

"No offence Tina, but you're drawing unwanted attention to yourself, you look silly and you're embarrassing me!" Zarbon said.

She then jumped onto the table, "Hey everyone I have an announcement to make! I was thinking of making Zarbon my first conquest ever!"

People started laughing, "Who's Zarbon?" someone asked.

Zarbon blushed furiously, "That does it, I'm going home!" with that, he left the club and drove.

Zarbon ran to his room when he got home, "Oh God help me!" he yelled.

"What's the problem?" it was Freezer, he somehow go the key to his room.

"Freezer, what are you doing in my room?" asked Zarbon even more startled.

Freezer got impatient, "Well I'm waiting for an answer!" he said.

"Nothing ok?" Zarbon took his shirt off and sat in front of his mirror, he started taking his braid out. He looked into the mirror, but this time not smiling as usual, Freezer got Zarbon's comb and started brushing his hair,

"You know, I can see why people adore you so much, I wish I could have that adoration, boy you do have radiant hair. It's the color of leaves." Freezer said, and then he started sniffing his hair and his neck.

"What are you doing?" asked Zarbon uncomfortably.

"Oh nothing, you're a Cyrillic beauty just like your grandmother, especially after I beheaded her. " Freezer said and started kissing Zarbon's neck.

"Freezer, I'm not going to tell you again, stop touching me like that." He started to get mad.

"Oh relax Zarbon, I'm just… Oh uh, trying to feel what you feel like when I kiss you. That's what I'm thinking." Freezer was just in his own little world.

"I know exactly what you're thinking! " Zarbon then roared and with rage grabbed Freezer by the head and threw him across the room.

Freezer got up and slapped him in the face, "I can also see why people would hate you, and it's like I said before, I'll do what I want with you!" Freezer yelled and with that, he left and shut the door loudly.

Apple who heard all the commotion went into Zarbon's room, "What happened, I heard yelling in here!" Zarbon had a bruise on his cheek where Freezer slapped him.

"Nothing happened ok?" he yelled pissed off, Apple shrugged his shoulders and left the room, Zarbon started sobbing while Blacky was trying to comfort him by rubbing up against him affectionately.

In the morning, Zarbon woke up, yawned, took a shower, brushed his teeth and got dressed in his cape and Sayain armor as usual. Then he went in front of the mirror and tried to smirk, but could not seeing that he had a bruise where Freezer slapped him the night before, "Hello beautiful," he said with a sad smile.

He then dried his hair with a hair dryer, and put his hair in a braid, he then tried to cover the bruise up with makeup, it would have to heal damn it.

A couple of hours later, Zarbon walked down the hallway with Apple and Kiwi, the only friends other then Liya and the Ginyu Force that he had. "So this girl is so love sick for me that it's not even funny, I mean she bought me a car, and not just a car a Ferrari, and for some weird reason I love my Corvette better. " Zarbon said.

"Ah young love, it couldn't have been that bad." Kiwi said.

"She embarrassed me in public quite a few times and followed me into the men's water closet. I cannot tell you how horrible she sings, will she ever leave me alone? What should I do? Many women have been obsessed with me but this is far by the worst! What am I going to do? There has to be a way to get her off my back!" Zarbon said.

"Well I suggest that you tell her you're married, or engaged," Apple said.

"But that would be lying, and she'll know or deny it." Zarbon said.

Kiwi then looked at Zarbon, "What exactly did you do to win her heart, why is she so attracted to you?" he asked.

"Well I saved her from getting picked on by a bunch of bullies!" Zarbon said.

"See that's what you get when you make yourself the hero, a bunch of unwanted attention, this isn't the first time this has happened, and probably won't be the last. Any other reasons I should know about?" asked Kiwi.

"What kind of question is that, I'm devilishly handsome, everyone knows that!" Zarbon said.

"I knew he was going to say that," Apple said.

"Ok now, here's the cunning part, what if you make yourself less attractive?" asked Kiwi.

"What a horrible idea Kiwi, how could you think of such a horrid thing? I love being beautiful, everyone knows that, are you suggesting that I transform? No way, forget it! It's a defense mechanism only!" Zarbon said waving his hands back and forth.

"You want her off her back don't you?" asked Kiwi.

"Yes I do, but you don't get it I don't like being ugly, my other form is ugly! Even when I looking in the mirror and see myself in that other form, I get so terrified," Zarbon said.

"Oh Zarbon, I know I'm not the one to tell you this, but you really shouldn't worry about the way you look. People don't go for the outer appearance anyways; they go for what's on the inside. Come on Zarbon, what's your motto?" Apple asked smiling.

"Oh for God's sake!" Zarbon then cracked a smile, "Beauty is only skin deep."

"Very good, the point is that if people only love you for the outer appearance, then they are shallow. Well, even if you were in your other form, I would recognize you," Apple said.

"But Apple, people don't take me seriously enough to get to know me on the inside," Zarbon said.

"People don't see that underneath that handsome flesh of yours that you care about people, even if you don't show it sometimes. " Kiwi said.

"But all people see in me is a vain, spoiled glamour puss, when in real life I've had it harder than other people, in ways that I won't dare to talk about." Zarbon said.

"Zarbon you are a vain, spoiled glamour puss who actually had it harder in some ways and easier in other ways than others." Kiwi said.

"Some people would rather date you than Cooler, Salsa even Jeice, because you're not that bad of a person, the only reason why you won't transform is because you're scared of being rejected and not loved in a society where transforming into ugly creatures is not cool." Apple said.

"There might be some truth to that," said Zarbon crossing his arms.

"You're completely mortified to show your other appearance off, and you're very sensitive about your face and I don't blame you there pal!" Apple said.

"I do wish that maybe one day, I'll feel comfortable transforming around someone I love, and who will love me for who I am, and not just for my outer appearance. I know I'm just dreaming, but you never know. I'm sometimes very lonely, I need a hug." Zarbon said.

"Ok pal, no problem," Apple then hugged Zarbon, "See now that wasn't so hard now was it Zarbon?"

All the sudden they heard voices coming from the cafeteria, "Oh look there is something going on in the cafeteria! " yelled Apple and all three of them went into the cafeteria, only to discover that Tina was surrounded by a bunch of men and women.

"That's her! She's the one who's responsible for all this!" Zarbon said pointing to Tina.

"Now let's walk away slowly so she won't see us," Zarbon said, he, Kiwi, and Apple tried to sneak away, but then Apple tripped.

Tina then spotted them, "Zarbon I love you!" she yelled.

Everyone laughed while Kiwi and Apple blushed with furry not knowing what to think about this silly love struck schoolgirl, but Zarbon turned purple with fury. "That does it, Tina that'll be the last time you'll ever mortify me!" yelled Zarbon.

"Oh she's going to get it now," Apple said.

"You better run while you still can, you embarrassed me in front of the wrong crowd!" Zarbon yelled.

Tina did not know what to think then she said the wrong thing, "Give me a hug my first!" she held her arms out.

Zarbon got mad, "I'm going to kill you!" he started chasing her around the room.

She was horrified and ecstatic at the same time, "Wow he loves me so much that he wants to murder me! How romantic!" she yelled.

All the sudden Freezer barged into the cafeteria, everyone was now silent and Zarbon stopped chasing Tina. "What's going on here? Who's the ringleader?" Freezer demanded.

"She is!" yelled Freezer's men pointing at Tina.

"Hi?" Tina said a little petrified.

"Why is she here?" asked Freezer.

"I'm in love with Zarbon!" She said.

Freezer burst out laughing and everyone else laughed with him, "Silence you fools, I didn't say you could laugh!"

"Yah, but her, in love with a creature like that?" Dodoria said laughing.

"Oh shut up Dodoria, ha what a big mistake you're making girl!" Freezer said.

"Is he married?" she asked.

"No, he never will be as long as I'm alive, who would want to marry him anyways," Freezer said laughing then pausing, "Oh dear, I don't think the poor girl knows." He said.

"Knows what?" she asked.

Zarbon turned pale, "What are you talking about Freezer?" he asked.

"How dare you raise your voice at me, oh yah Zarbon has another form!" Freezer said.

"Yah which makes him a freak of nature!" Dodoria said laughing cruelly.

"Oh you should talk you big, fat, spineless, stupid pig!" Zarbon said everyone started laughing.

"Another form no way!" Tina said excitedly.

Zarbon looked sad, "Tina, I'm not going to lie to you anymore, this pretty face of mine is like a mask, one that doesn't come off. You see, the whole time you've been blind, sort of, I'm not what I seem to be at all. I developed the power when I was a young boy; it's so ugly though, I hate it so much. When I got older, I became more handsome in this form, and as that happened I became more ugly in my other form. I intend to keep that power hidden; I just want to be loved is all." Zarbon said sadly.

"Yah right!" yelled Tina.

"Guys don't I transform?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes!" Kiwi said.

"Oh yah, I've seen it and it's pretty…scary." Apple said.

"Yah he's a Primal Changeling!" Freezer said.

"Well I wish I could transform let's see this other form!" Tina said.

"I can't show you, it's horrible looking," Zarbon said.

"So what I want to see it!" she yelled.

"Ok fine come with me!" he grabbed her by the arm and led her outside the palace.

"So she's the one that he rescued." Freezer said.

Meanwhile Zarbon and Tina were outside, hiding behind a rock so nobody else could see them, "I don't usually do this but you just had to ask." Zarbon said he got on the ground, and was in much pain.

"Promise you won't scream!" he said.

"Sure how bad could it possibly look?" asked Tina.

All the sudden he started changing shape, his nose vanished, his teeth grew sharp, he became more bulky, his beautiful face now covered with warts and scales and he was twice his size before. His hand now claws, he roared he was so hideous, Tina just stood there shaking with fright, "How could I've been so blind?" she yelled shaking helplessly.

"Hey, don't get that attitude, who's the one who tried to help you get Jeice? Who's the one you embarrassed? Who defiantly saved you from getting your book bag stolen! Most of all, who saved you from those bullies? Come on, you do think that Jeice would have cared about you? At least I cared enough about you to actually help you!" he yelled with his deep, rough, scratchy voice, but still spoke in that Australian or English accent, or whatever accent it was.

"Never mind about that, I think I made a mistake!" Tina said trying to fake her way out of this one.

"You want me now, hum? Oh look, I'm just so handsome aren't I? Well I'm so looking forward to scaring you off! " He was pissed off at her shallowness and laughed evilly and grabbed her arm, she then pulled away letting out a blood curling scream, she then ran away.

He had done it now he lost control of his temper, "Tina wait! I didn't mean to…!" he sighted and then transformed back into his handsome form and jumped up into the air all excited, "Yes she's gone , she's history!" He laughed with enthusiasm.

Freezer then clapped his hands and Zarbon turned around, "Bravo Zarbon, brave, you scared her off, good now that that's over." He then sexually rubbed his hand on Zarbon's leg, "I say you and I should hit it off, I'll be the only one who really loves you for who you are." He said smiling sleazy.

"Freezer for the last time, quit touching me!" Zarbon yelled, then grabbed Freezer's wrist breaking it.

"Oh shit! That hurts!" he kicked Zarbon in the chest and Zarbon fell.

"You heard him Freezer! For years I've had to deal with seeing you touching him like that, for tormenting him, you've done this to him since he was four years old!" Apple said angrily.

Freezer ignored Apple and bended down to the ground and punched Zarbon in the face, "Let me know when you'll cooperate!" he winked at him and left.

Zarbon then gave Freezer the birdie and Apple ran over to him, "Are you all right?" he asked.

"I hate him! That tormenter, I wish he wouldn't touch me like that!" Zarbon yelled.

"Don't worry Zarbon, everyone knows how he treats you, at least you and I were brave enough to stand up to him!" he hugged Zarbon.

Next day at the Ginyu Campus, Zarbon and Jeice were walking down the hallway, "She finally stopped liking me!" Zarbon said.

"Good for you!" Jeice said, he then saw Tina, "Oh look, there she is now!" Jeice said.

Tina and Gilda walked up to Zarbon and Jeice, "Hello Tina." Zarbon said.

"Hello Zarbon, I want my Ferrari back!" Tina said.

"Forget it you gave it to me as a gift!" Zarbon said.

"I'll find a way to steal it back from you." Tina said.

"Stealing is against the law, if you steal you get executed," he said smiling.

"You don't have to worry about me liking you anymore, Jeice is my true love." She said.

"Oh man!" yelled Jeice.

Zarbon got angry with her and said as if hurt, "Good for you, now get out of here you shallow bitch!" he yelled.

"No problem!" She ran down the hallway screaming.

Gilda looked confused at Tina, "What's her problem?" she asked.

"I don't know she's just so shocked to see me that's all." Zarbon said smiling sadly.

End of Story


	10. Chapter 10

_Liven on the Edge_

Jeice was in Captain Ginyu's office in the morning, and Captain Ginyu was looking at him, Jeice looked nervous, he looked like he was about to do something crazy, then the words finally came out, "Captain Ginyu I want to be a rock star, you know like Bon Jovi, and Queen." Jeice said.

After all, it was the 80's and rock and roll was popular on earth and in space, Captain Ginyu looked at Jeice, "You want to be a rock star? This is the second time this week that you have come into my office to ask me this, here is my answer, no way Jose!" Captain Ginyu said.

"But I can play a mean guitar and I can sing too." Jeice said.

"Ok then sing for me!" Captain Ginyu said.

"I'm a little nervous but here goes nothing!" Jeice said, then he started to sing, "Highway to the Danger Zone!" yelled Jeice, Captain Ginyu covered his ears. "Was that too rash?" asked Jeice.

"Jeice you can't sing, besides even if I did let you became a rock star, Freezer would fry my butt for it. As a member of the Ginyu Force, you're not allowed to retire Freezer said so." Captain Ginyu said.

"Damn it! See you're just like my old man! He sent me to this stupid military school because he didn't want me to sing, he says that I can't hit a high note good and…" Before Jeice could go on, Captain Ginyu interrupted.

"Jeice go do those Ginyu exercises!" Captain Ginyu said as he looked at some paperwork.

"And it's on and on and on, Heaven and Hell!" Jeice sang terribly.

"Go Jeice!" yelled Ginyu.

"Damn I knew that Black Sabbath wouldn't work." Jeice said as he walked out of his office.

Jeice decided to play hooky and go to Zarbon's place; Zarbon lived in the palace and was a high-ranking general and sorcerer to Freezer along with being his heir to the thrown and slave at the same time. Zarbon was a hell lot smarter than Jeice, maybe he could help him out, "So let me get this straight Captain Ginyu wouldn't let you become a rock star?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes, he's like the most coolest dude ever and he's still acting like my old man!" Jeice said.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "You're lucky to have a father that cares for you, I haven't spoken to my dad in a long time." Zarbon said.

"I thought Freezer was your father." Jeice said.

"He is, but I'm adopted." Zarbon said.

"Do you want to hear me sing?" asked Jeice.

"Yes just sing!" Zarbon said.

"What do you want me to sing Queen or Judas Priest?" asked Jeice.

"Uh Queen." Zarbon said.

"We will we will rock you!" Jeice sang horribly.

"Try Judas Priest instead." Zarbon said.

"Breaking the law, breaking the law..." Jeice sang again.

"Stop, stop, stop, you sing terrible there is no way that you're going to make it as a rock star." Zarbon said.

"Well can you sing any better?" asked Jeice.

"I most certainly can, you're talking to a baritone here, now give me a song to sing!" Zarbon said.

"Uh let's see, can you sing Tina Turner!" Jeice said.

"Ok. What's love got to do with it? Got to do with it? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken!" Zarbon sang, yep he sang well in that baritone voice.

"Wow dude that was pretty." Jeice said and he could sworn that he felt a tear on his face too. "So how come I haven't heard you sing before?" asked Jeice.

"Well I used to sing in the choir, Freezer made me do it." Zarbon said.

"But you may be too good though, I'm looking for a rock and roll kind of voice!" Jeice said.

"Oh you want me to make it sound more horrible?" asked Zarbon.

"What? No there isn't anything wrong with people singing loudly!" yelled Jeice.

"Fine I'll sing in a rock and roll voice then." Zarbon said. He then sang, "And I raise my head and stair into the eyes of a stranger! I've always known that the mirror never lies!"

"Wow that was awesome dude, you should be a part of my band, I say we ditch the palace and the Ginyu Campus and go out to be rock stars!" Jeice said.

"I have a better idea, how about you do and I just stay here in case Freezer needs me." Zarbon said.

Hours later, Zarbon found himself in a recording studio with Jeice in the recording room, "I can't believe I ended up in a recording studio." Zarbon said.

"What exactly are you doing here?" asked the recorder dude.

"Well I'm Jeice's voice coach of course." Zarbon lied.

"Let's get started, now start singing! Did you memorize the lyrics?" asked the recorder producer.

"I sure did! Let's go dude!" yelled Jeice.

"Ok let's start; I'm going to turn on the music now." The recorder dude said turning the music up.

"My passion for you is so strong that I can never let go! I need your love day and night, even if you don't' tell me so…" Jeice sang, the recorder producer then forcefully turned off the music, "Dude what gives?" asked Jeice.

"Could you please try it again Jeice?" asked the record producer.

"Sure, turn the music on!" Jeice said. The recorder dude then turned the music on, and Jeice continued to sing, "My passion for you is so strong that I can never let it go! I need your love day and night, even if you don't tell me so…" again, the record producer forced a turn off, "Dude that is so not cool!" Jeice said.

"I'm sorry to say this but you can't sing." The producer said.

"I can to sing!" Jeice said.

"The only way you're going to be able to sing would be in a strip bar or something like that." The record producer said.

Zarbon then decided to take matters in his own hands, "That does it let me talk to him; I'm his voice coach after all!" Zarbon then walked into the recording room, "Come on Jeice let's just go home," Zarbon said.

"No I can't do that! I have to sing, it's my dream." Jeice said.

"But you can't carry a toon!" Zarbon said.

"Ok you're his voice coach straighten him up!" the record producer said.

"Sure no problem," Zarbon said. He had to think quickly, how the hell does one coach someone that cannot carry a toon? All the sudden Zarbon burst into song, "My passion for you is so strong that I can never let it go! I need your love day and night, even if you don't tell me so…"

The record producer looked at Zarbon and smiled and ran into the recording room, "Where did you learn to sing like that?" asked the record producer.

"I took choir when I was little, and Freezer made me sing for him in private, and I well I'm too shy to sing and…" the record producer interrupted Zarbon.

"But you can sing unlike rebel 101 here." The record producer said.

"Hey you're like the government man!" Jeice said.

"How would you like a recording contract?" asked the record producer.

"That would be wonderful!" Zarbon said excited, then he looked at Jeice who looked sad, Zarbon's paternal instinct kicked in right that second, "On second thought just have me ghost my voice and give Jeice the record deal." Zarbon said.

"What, but that's illegal to impersonate someone!" the record producer said.

"So what and anything the Freezer does is legal?" asked Zarbon.

"Good point, get into that record studio!" the record producer said.

Therefore, Zarbon sang the song in Jeice's place, and he finished the album by the end of the week, so Jeice was the main attraction from the record and Zarbon was ghosting Jeice's voice as he called it, so nobody knew it was Zarbon's singing voice and not Jeice's.

Jeice in the meantime memorized the lyrics and learned how to lip sync them, and each time he did a live concert they played the record of Zarbon's voice. Jeice ended up sleeping with tons of girls and sometimes smoked weed to lip-sync intensely.

Anyways some weeks pasted before you knew it, Jeice was a regular celebrity like Zarbon, only just as big, Zarbon did not look at it as much competition, after all he had other things to worry about like Freezer.

What would happen if Freezer found out that Jeice used Zarbon's voice illegally, he could face up to two months in jail at least, and maybe even for two hundred years depending on how illegal it actually was.

Meanwhile at the palace, Zarbon was sitting down at lunchtime with Apple, Kiwi, Liya and Amy the Sphinx, "I can't believe that you ghosted Jeice's voice, that's illegal!" Liya said surprised.

"Look I felt badly for him that the record producer asked me for the record deal instead of him." Zarbon said.

"Why did you even go to the recording studio in the first place?" asked Kiwi.

"Because Jeice wanted me to support him as a friend, so I lied saying that I was his voice coach, and they made me sing to him so that he can learn the notes, and they asked me for a record instead of him. I couldn't just let him down like that, that's not fair! Besides, I'm already loved enough I don't need to take it any further then it has to go." Zarbon said.

"Look it's nice that you want to help Jeice out, but what you're doing is considered illegal, and its breaking the law, think about what would happen if Freezer found out that you ghosted Jeice's voice, you could be executed if he gets pissed enough." Apple said.

"What is this of ghosting Jeice's voice that you talk about?" asked Shasha with a tray in his hand.

"We didn't mean ghosting; we meant chaperoning Jeice's voice." Liya said.

"Liya you are bad liar, what does ghosting mean I don't know what word means." Shasha said.

After all Shasha spoke Russian as a first language and English as a second, so sometimes he did not get the slang at all. "It means that Zarbon coaches Jeice so that he doesn't screw his voice up! God why the hell do you have to be so fucken nosy?" Kiwi asked.

"I would mind my own business if some people wouldn't talk loud, losers!" Shasha then took his lunch and went to sit down next to Dodoria. Those two had no life, nobody else would sit next to Dodoria because Dodoria smelled terrible and did not usually bath after a mission, it was required, and he was so mean too.

Nobody would sit next to Shasha; he was a violent rapist that Freezer used to get what he wanted. He rubbed most of Freezer's low-level solders the wrong way almost as much as Dodoria. He also had a scar on his face, which he got from his abusive mother scratching him, and he never knew his father.

Zarbon looked at those two spineless cowards and then turned back to his friends, "I say that we whisper so that someone doesn't eavesdrop on us." Zarbon said.

"Good idea, but didn't you hear the news, Freezer read in the paper about Jeice's so-called golden voice and is going to make Jeice give a concert in the auditorium where Freezer usually executes and tortures prisoners." Apple said.

"What that's got to be the silliest rumor that I've ever heard." Zarbon said.

"No it's true; he was telling Captain Ginyu how he looked forward to see such talent in person." Apple said.

"How do you know this?" asked Amy.

"Because unlike you, I talk to more people," Apple said.

"What are we going to do about that?" asked Kiwi.

"I think we should just protest Freezer to cancel this Willy Manilli." Liya said.

"Oh I was so sad to hear that they were phonies," Apple said looking sad.

"Boy you have no life do you Apple?" asked Kiwi.

"No I don't." Apple said.

"Let me go talk to Freezer, besides its illegal to protest anyways." Zarbon said getting up and leaving the lunchroom.

Zarbon then went to the courtroom, and saw Freezer in a fetal position; he then rolled his eyes, "Oh no not another epilepsy attack." Zarbon then picked Freezer up and got him as far away from his thrown as much as possible.

"Thank you Zarbon I don't know what I would do without you, it's like your paternal instinct called on you in my time of need." Freezer said.

"Honestly I came to ask you something, is it true that Jeice is giving you a live concert tomorrow night?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes it's true I'm afraid, I can't believe that coward thinks he can sing, but I can probably sing better than he can." Freezer said.

"Yes I'm sure that you could." Zarbon said, even though he and Freezer both knew that Freezer could not carry a toon.

"I feel threatened by Jeice's talent; if he really is that good then I'm going to have to have him executed." Freezer said.

"What? Then why are you requiring him to give a live concert?" asked Zarbon.

"Because nobody gives out a record deal without my permission, he broke the law! Well at least the record producer did, and now he is in jail for a year!" Freezer said.

Zarbon gulped, "But if you don't like talent that is bought on illegally why don't you just not require a concert at all?" asked Zarbon.

"Because I must know if Jeice's voice is truly good, and if so I'm going to have to have him executed." Freezer said.

"But Jeice is my friend; I can't let you murder him just because he can sing." Zarbon said.

"Leave Zarbon, you're pissing me off!" Freezer said.

"Yes sir!" Zarbon then ran out of the room.

Zarbon ran to Apple, "Apple Jeice is in danger!" Zarbon said.

"He was asking for it." Apple said with his arms crossed.

"You don't understand, many people who were good singers, poets, writers, actors, dancers, artists, and even models ended up dead because of Freezer!" Zarbon said.

"Yah because they protested against him," Apple said.

"No not even that, it was the fact that Freezer was jealous of their talent and they ended up dead because of it! Also Jeice will end up just like them if he's not careful." Zarbon said.

"What's more important Jeice ending up dead because of political reasons, or in jail for being found out that he's a fake? You decide, you helped him into this mess and you're going to get him out of it." Apple said.

"Damn if you were me what would you do?" asked Zarbon.

"Well if I were you I would try to help him out." Apple said.

"You're right I love you Apple!" Zarbon said hugging him tightly.

"Damn that Zarbon is a sweet kid, but he's not too bright sometimes." Apple thought rolling his eyes.

Later on when Jeice was in the dressing room, there was a knock on the door, "Come in!" Jeice said.

Zarbon came into the room, "This concert is canceled!" Zarbon said.

"But Zarbon you don't understand I want the fame and attention I want all the women to sleep in bed with me and talk about it to their friends!" Jeice said.

"Uh you lecher, you mean I helped you just to get women into bed with you? That is the lowest thing I've ever heard anyone say!" Zarbon said.

"Oh admit it you want the chicks too." Jeice said.

"I'm a one woman man, and I have more time than I need to find the perfect mate Jeice! Something you wouldn't understand because you want to fuck a bunch of girls that you don't even know! I even heard about a sexually transmitted disease on earth called AIDS!" Zarbon said.

"So what, as long as I die doing what I love to do!" Jeice said.

"Fine be a stupid stubborn selfish brat! Uh you are a horrible person Jeice, you used to be so nice, but you're not only taking advantage of your friends and those fans of yours but you're taking advantage of innocent girls that want to be loved!" Zarbon said.

"Please I'm not mister sensitive like you, I just want some booty and some fame is all!" Jeice said.

"You are a horrible person! I never want to talk to you again, I quit!" Zarbon said walking out of the room.

"Fine I'll find someone else to ghost my voice!" Jeice said cleaning his four stringed guitar.

There was another knock on the door, "Zarbon go away!" Jeice said.

"It's me Jeice your old man!" Someone yelled with a British sounding voice.

"Dad?" Jeice all the sudden opened the door up and his old man hugged him, "Dad what are you doing here?" asked Jeice. His old man was dressed up in a conservative business suit, he was a lawyer, he had his white haircut short, the same green eyes like Jeice had, and the same red skin that Jeice had.

"I'm going to get you out of here before Freezer has you executed for singing." Jeice's dad said.

"No I want to sing!" Jeice said.

"I'm not that stupid Jeice, I know that it was your friend Zarbon that ghosted your voice." Jeice's dad said.

"What did he tell you?" asked Jeice.

"The entire story, he's worried about your safety, I'm worried about your safety, and many talented people have died under Freezer because they weren't free to express their talents in a way that was free." Jeice's dad said.

"So what," Jeice said.

"Wow that is really insensitive, Zarbon tired to help you get some fame by having his voice replace yours on the songs, and now you repay him by trying to get yourself killed!" Jeice's dad said.

"What that doesn't make any sense!" Jeice said.

"It doesn't have to make sense; I'm saying that I would rather that you spend a month or a year in jail if you're found out to be a fake. I know damn well that you can't sing Jeice, you made a huge mistake and didn't even consider the consequences." His old man continued to say.

"Man dad don't talk to me I have a concert to do!" Jeice said pushing him out of the way and going towards the auditorium.

Freezer was sitting on his thrown at the top of the auditorium, "He better not be good, I'll have him beheaded if he is talented!" Freezer said.

"It doesn't make sense that you have him singing for you if you hate him having talent." Shasha said.

"It's only another trap that I set for those who think they can get away with being as famous as me!" Freezer said.

Kiwi went out into the middle of the auditorium with a microphone, "Presenting Jeice the Lord of Studs! God what a stupid title!" Kiwi said.

"Just get out of the center of the auditorium Kiwi!" Freezer said.

"Well here you go!" Kiwi then threw his cue cards away.

Jeice was on stage singing, or should we say lip-syncing to the songs that Zarbon actually sang to, "Wow he is actually pretty good, for some weird reason his singing voice sounds so familiar." Freezer said.

"If I didn't know any better I would say that Zarbon was singing behind curtain while Jeice was lip-syncing." Shasha said. Freezer and Shasha both laughed.

Meanwhile Zarbon was backstage with his arms crossed, "God what a loser, I can't believe I helped him in his hour of need and this is how he repays me, trying to get laid by a bunch of silly girls that don't even know him." Zarbon thought to himself.

All the sudden he saw Jeice's dad crying, "Jeice don't do this, my little boy, you're the only child that I have I don't want to lose you to the axe!" yelled Jeice's dad in agony.

Zarbon than sighed, and then ran to the record player, he then picked up the record player and threw it away and it smashed, all the sudden the song stopped, "What the hell happened?" asked Freezer.

"I don't know sir, just a second!" Jeice said running backstage, "Where is that extra record in case something bad happened to…it?" asked Jeice as he was watching Zarbon breaking the extra record that he would have put on to replace the other one.

"This is for your own good Jeice!' Zarbon said.

"Uh you are so jealous!" Jeice said.

"I'm not jealous; I'm not going to let you die for something so stupid!" Zarbon said.

"Maybe I want to die; when I do people will look at me as a martyr!" Jeice yelled.

"They don't even know you! What do you mean you would be martyred?" asked Zarbon.

"Take that back glamour pussy!" Jeice yelled.

"I'm not a glamour pussy!" Zarbon all the sudden attacked Jeice and they stumbled from behind the curtain and in front of Freezer and Shasha.

"What is going on here?" asked Freezer.

"He's nothing but a fake; I used my singing voice to ghost his just so he could get some fame out of it!" Zarbon yelled.

"What I knew it sounded familiar!" Freezer said.

"But you told me that ghosting was teaching!" Shasha said.

Freezer then yelled, "Jeice sing something right now!"

"I can't Freezer I need some lemon juice to help my voice…" Freezer interrupted Jeice.

"Sing now invisil!" Freezer yelled.

"Highway to the danger zone!" Jeice said.

Freezer got even more pissed off, "This was a waste of time I was actually looking forward to a good execution today!" Freezer said.

Jeice went into jail for about a month, and when he was behind bars Zarbon, his dad and Captain Ginyu came to visit him.

"This is stupid!" Jeice said.

"Maybe if you wouldn't have had Zarbon fake your voice for you than you wouldn't end up in jail." Captain Ginyu said.

"But my dream…" Zarbon interrupted Jeice.

"Would have ended on the block I guarantee you." Zarbon said.

"Then why didn't you stop me if you knew that I was doomed from the start?" asked Jeice.

"I am either not a very good friend, or I just didn't want them to give me that record deal so that I could draw more attention to myself than I needed. I don't like to see my friend's dreams crushed so easily, because Freezer crushed a lot of my dreams, in fact Freezer had me kicked out of choir just because I had a great singing voice." Zarbon said.

"Then why did he put you into choir practice?" asked Jeice.

"Because he wanted me to stay out of trouble, I was always bothering him when I was a little kid and wanted to be around him a lot. The truth of the matter is that the only people who actually paid attention to me were Kiwi and Apple, my babysitters." Zarbon said.

"Dude that sounds sad, maybe I should take up poetry instead." Jeice said.

"No way son, it's too risky too." Jeice's dad said.

"Maybe I should be a song writer." Jeice said.

"NO!" everyone said.

"Fine it's just a suggestion anyways!" Jeice said.

End of Story


End file.
